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female
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anonymous
writes: i want out of my relationship of 10 years i have 3 kids, i suffer with depression and my partner is very domineering he stopped me working checks the milage on my car basically have no life. he wont let us split up i have tried to run away before and he tracks me down each time im thinking of going away again can i chane my identity so he cannot find me ? also need help in finding accommodation and a job looking in the southern area like devon or cornwall i cannot take the kids as they turn against me the oldest is 15 the youngest 11 i think my health issues would go if i could escape this bad relationship but how do i go about it
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2006): Hi, your problem sounds very huge! Please be careful! I have a similar marriage problem like you, but I don´t have kids. I have been married for 10 years and seems that my husband doesn´t understand that I want to leave him because I don´t see another ten years of future with him. He hasn´t found a stable job since 1996. My family lives in the U.S. and I am alone living overseas since 2002. My husband wants to rule my life by telling what to do or not, with whom to go or not, etc...But in your case, both should seek help. Try to talk to your husband and make him understand what kind of life you are living and the kids as well. You should try to find help as soon as possible. Don´t you let your husband rule you! Keep us posted, the best for you and your kids!
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (20 May 2006):
 Get out the phone book as soon as you finish reading this, and look up "Domestic Violence", "Domestic Abuse" or "Women's Issues" in the government pages. There will be a freecall number where you can speak anonymously to a counsellor (usually a woman who's been in your situation) who can recommend a safe way to start to get out of this relationship, and to start over, away from this man.
If there's no local number, ring Women's Aid (www.womensaid.org.uk) on 0808 2000 247, and ask for help.
One of the reasons that you're suffering from depression is that you're in an abusive relationship, where your partner is controlling you. It's unhealthy for you, and sadly, it never gets better. You have to get away -- even without your kids, if necessary -- so that you can start living without fear again.
Please talk to someone soon. You only have to admit that this is something you can't solve on your own, and let someone help.
I waited 7 years to get away from an abusive husband, and only then could I see what warped things I was accepting as "normal". Please take care of yourself, so you can take care of your kids.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2006): This is pretty big..I really think you need to speak to a professional about this; have you spoken to your GP about the depression and are you receiving treatment? Until you get on top of this, you are not really in the right frame of mind to make a decision about leaving your kids. If you speak to your GP about the situation and how desperate things are, im sure s/he will give you contact details of organisations that can help you. Dont suffer in silence, speak to someone and soon.
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