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I want my partner to get a job and become a little independent. He is unemployed. Am I handling things the right way?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 January 2013) 1 Answers - (Newest, 26 January 2013)
A female Philippines age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i have a live in partner for 8 years n0w. Recently,i had my tattoo finished and he was acting like,"i want to get my first tattoo." i replied with,"if you want to have a tatt0o you sh0uld pay f0r it." he has n0 job by the way. I am kind of frank towards him. Some m0nths ago i told him while we were eating our dinner,"i got to go to a dentist for a cleaning." but i haven't got the time. About a few weeks ago he said to me the same thing that he also wants to go to a dentist,then i replied,"if you want to go to the dentist,you have to pay for it."

Recently,i b0ught a sec0nd ph0ne for my other business number he then asked me if i can exchange my first ph0ne to the ones he is currently using-his current ph0ne is n0t the latest by the way. I said n0 to his offer.

Besides,i am n0t selfish. In fact, i am thinking that because this is my partner that i sh0uld share with him what i have. But my inner self somehow tells me that by giving and sup0rting him with what he needs wouldnt help him change. I want him to l0ok for a job.am i d0ing the right thing for him or am n0t?also, is it n0rmal for s0me guys to be envi0us of their partner's bel0ngings? Or am i living with a n0t-so-n0rmal guy here?

I also realized that he likes to copy/imitate the way his cl0sest friend dress up. About a year ago he went h0me with used pairs of jeans which he all b0ught fr0m this closest friend. Does my man have s0me attitude/personality problem here?

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (26 January 2013):

janniepeg agony auntHe is copying a lot here. That's just because he doesn't have a lot of money to buy brand new things. If he likes to copy, then doesn't it make sense that he should be like everyone else and get a job too?

"Go get a job" isn't completely simple. He has to start with what he likes to do, what he can't stand to do, what's available on the market now. If his parents never had any kind of conversation with him about this then it will be hard for you.

I don't know about personality problem. He is just lazy and his parents are either too accomodating or they had given up. He doesn't have to work because nothing bad has happened to him yet.

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