A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i lost my virginity to my married boyfriend...as started out, i never had a boyfriend and was never "explored" by any male...with that, he told me that i should regard him as my husband as he's the first to explore me..his wife is not really a good person i would say and is constantly trying to gain authority by threatening him with divorce even if he refused sex....she makes police reports about him hitting her as he did once before we met and got together. she says she's using those reports to make sure he never gets to see hi daughther ever again after divorce but never comes around doing it.she knows about us but denied it as much she still knows...recently she created a scene and left. but after 4 months she's back..i can't accept the fact that knowing i could have a future with him but she constantly is trying to push him to his max and throwing divorce as collateral so that when they make up again, he has to go by her rules.what should i do? he loves his daughter too much to leave but i know he wants to.. he's very happy with me. and he's the one for me. we are like friends when we talk, in bed we are touching each other's souls when we make love..i treat hi like my husband and never disobeyed him ever before...how can i convince him that if he falls i can catch him and we can have a good life togther?please help me..
View related questions:
divorce, lost my virginity, never had a boyfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): I was just recently seeing a married man. It wasn't exactly like you situation. With mine his wife live 7 hours away and refused to live with him because she hated small town life and needed to be close to her mother. But he visted her maybe once a month or so. I fooled myself into believing that they were seperated and divorce was around the corner. The truth is that most of those other girls are right. He's never going to leave her, or he already would have. But not because she's better than you or because he's a con artist and he wants sex on the side. I believe that he truely deeply loves you. Just like mine loves me. But that isn't enough. A man has an affair because he's desperate to be happy but not strong enough to leave home. He's going to lose everything that he's built... his home, his child, his friends, his family... then there's the dilemma of what to do after? Move in with you or get his own place... It's all frightening to them because it's the unknown. Don't hold out for him to be with you because soon she'll get fed up with it. And then the feeling of him being snatched away is like a stake in your chest that she keeps swirling around. It's a deep gaping wound in you chest. I know. It happened to me. She took him far away where I'll never find him. Never hear his voice again. Always wondering if he still loves me, still thinks of me, still wants me...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): of course you are mentioned in hi fights with his wife. you are after all sleeping with her husband. poor man, imagine having a wife who has the balls to put him in his place regarding his affair with you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthey keep having fights and its centered around him...why doesn't he do this and that...
and i pop up suddenly in all those fights..he keeps it all to himself till the worse happens. after all that trouble of keeping me..why prolong if he is constantly in a mess? it was like this before i met him too but its worse now...
thanks for all the views...i gladly appreciate it.. only thing is that i can feel that he is not in it for the sex..probablt things like this happen too much that people also straight jump to that suggestion. ironic as it may sound... i felt like that too..
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 August 2009):
 He is using you, no doubt. Of course his wife is a horrible person... ( NOT) He will not leave her for you, because right now he can have you both.
What you are doing is not right. Even IF his wife truly is horrible, dating and having sex with a married man is never a good thing, unless you like a LOT of drama.
He is not worth you.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): Honestly what makes you think that this guy would not do the same thing to you in a few years. I gurantee you that he said similar things to his wife when he met her.If i were you Id ditch him before she kicks him out and you end up holding this sorry excuse for a man.RUN GIRL RUN
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): i know that you are so young but are you just as naive as well. you are the intruder in this married mans marriage. stop blaming his wife. you are lucky she allows you to even breathe, so she is not the big bad witch you make her out to be. you are sleeping with her husband baby, therefore she is angry and she is hurt. you know that this man is married. why are you still having sex with him. you know he has a wife and a child so what is your problem. you mean nothing to this man, you are just his bit on the side. he has not divorced his wife necause he DOESN'T WANT TO. if he was sooooooooooooo in love with you he would be divorced by now. you need to be realistic and you need to see this situation in totality. he is not leaving her and you can kiss any marriage with him good bye. he is MARRIED. HE HAS A WIFE AND A CHILD. THIS man is playing with you. he said consider him your husband because he took your virginity?? this is bull. he knows he is not your husband. he is only using you for sex. you are not his wife, babes, BECAUSE HE ALREADY HAS A WIFE. he is a con artist. he is still having sex with his wife, they make up cpnstantly. he is trying back and forth from you to his wife. he has sex with his wife because he wants to, not because he is forcing him. i think nothing i say will make you believe otherwise, would it. PLAIN WORDS- this man is only using you for sex. he is still with his wife and runs to you only for sex.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 August 2009):
 Since it's obvious that english is not your first language I'll try to make myself very clear. You are being taken for a fool. He is using you. He will never leave his wife. He isn't telling you the truth about their relationship. he isn't telling you the truth about your relationship. You need to wake up and smell the tea. He isn't, nor will he ever be, the one for you. Save yourself.
...............................
|
