A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hey I'm 39 years old married to a man who is 36 years old we been married for 10 years and have to children together I had two children's from my own things were good until my husband lost his job since tat he become different he don't wanna find a job I'm the one who works and puys all the bills since then it seems my husband is enjoying stay home he doesn't Cook or clean all he do is stay up all night all sleepers all day I talk to him many times and told to get his shit together he promise me he will find a job and never look for one our sex is suck Cruz wen he is up I'm sleep or work or doing something for the the kids the other day we had argument and he told me the reason he don't like to have sex with me is my vigina become so big tat he would briefer to have blow job or use my poops so he can have realese this hurt me so bad tat I don't even wanna have anything to do with him I really don't know wat to do I used to enjoy sex but not any more I told him I need separate but he said he has no place to go so he will stay until he figure out were to go I'm deprest and tried with all this responsibility I wanna him to leave my house and by the way he is not good with the kids especially my Kidd's
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2014): tanks for the answer u guys r absolutly right let me answer some equation while I'm at work the kids are school the youngest are 5 I know he uses porn Cruz I couch him couple times and he told me he needed quick relese and don't wanna bother me while I was busy with Kidd's he is been out of work about a year the Kidd's ask me why dad is allways broke he don't even wanna go Church with us sundeys wen he go out his friends pick up and drop him and sometimes come home drunk and cry and says he is Gona chenge but I don't know about tat we rent and I can survive with or with out him is just his kids love him and i feel sorry for them some times I think wait until his Kidd's get older then leave him we don't make love anymore Cuz my vigina is big and I m not feeling confotble about tat in tat case I'm feeling empty yes I'm hard worker and support my kiss and put my bills on time and is so hard and frustred to keep truck on it tank u guys for the lovely advise tanks
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 March 2014):
 First of all, with the vagina thing, that's a symptom of heavy porn use. You aren't "big", he's just getting used to his hand grip while you're away at work.
How long has he been out of work? It sounds like he's going into extreme depression, and that would make sense that he's using porn or video games or whatever he's using to self-medicate.
He needs to go get professional help both for himself and as a couple, unless you're totally done, in which case you need to get a lawyer and start divorce proceedings immediately sp that he has to leave.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (16 March 2014):
 By your own statements he is not a good father, not a good provider, not a good PARTNER in terms of sharing the household workload and to top it all off he's a selfish lover who demeans your body?
...Based on what you have posted I think getting this guy out of your life would absolutely be the right decision.
Talk to a lawyer about what your rights are in terms of getting him out of the house, and while you're at it get some advice on the divorce process in your state so you know how to make things permanent if you so choose. You say you want a separation, but you have listed so many fundamental things that aren't good about this guy. Time apart will definitely give you a break from him, but if you are hoping he'll come back a changed man... well, that's a lot of changing to do on his part. Frustration over losing his job, I get; I understand why he might not be motivated to go look for another one or to do chores around the house (even though he still ought to.)
Taking it out on you by insulting your body, or your kids by treating them poorly, is another thing entirely and says A LOT about what kind of man he is. (Hint: not a good one!)
You sound like a hardworking woman and you definitely deserve better than how he is currently treating you. What you change about the situation is up to you.
Good luck and best wishes moving forward!
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (16 March 2014):
 Its the kids I feel sorry for, caught up in all this. If your working and he's asleep, who looks after them,the atmosphere must be awful.
You sound like you've had enough and I don't blame you at all, it would be different if he was doing jobs round the house, helping with the kids - helping you, but he isn't.
I don't know how long since he lost his job, but if he isn't even looking for work then its frustrating and as he has always worked it means he isn't as lazy as he's acting, which makes it worse
Is there no family he can go to?
Have you seen a Lawyer yet? You need legal advice asap, to see how you stand re the house, how to get him out etc plus sorting child support and access.
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A
female
reader, Marilissa75 +, writes (16 March 2014):
 This man is abusing you emotionally and not supporting you and is a bad example for the kids. Can you leave? Take the kids and leave? Are you renting? You could call your local woman's shelter and ask for some resources. Most of them have hotlines where you can talk to someone on the phone. You and your kids deserve better.
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