A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:so the problem is my ex gf who broke off with me 9 months ago started talking to me again after a month. I loved it, i loved her like crazy. When we started talking again, we tried to be just friends but did stuff that wasnt just friend like.....next day she started ignoring me and i havent spoken to her for about 7-8 months. I got over her during the summer but she's back into my head and very deeply this time. I want to start talking to her again on whatsapp, but last time i tried it was unsuccessful and it looked like i was desperate.....i NEED to talk to her again and be her friend again, such an urge. I need some advice on how to start a convo on whatsapp after like 5 months.....its awkward but still, i have to.....plz help
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 November 2012):
 She broke it off with you 9 months ago. She was ready to be friends after a month, you were not and you need to let her know that you could not be just friends as you were not over her. HER being friendly with you fed you hope. It was not right of her to give you hope, although in her defense perhaps she did not know she was doing that.
Now it’s been 7/8 months with no contact and you are not any farther along with your healing.
You WANT to talk to her then you say you NEED to talk to her. Honey this is not good. You should never NEED to talk to someone esp. an ex. You don’t want to be her friend you want to pretend to be her friend in hopes that she will be your gf again. It’s over. It’s not going to happen.
I see NO need for ex partners to be friends with each other. Friendly yes… civil yes.. but actual friends… NOT a good idea.
If you contact her she will be polite a time or two and then blow you off and it will hurt again. Best thing to do is move on… and stop trying to figure out how to be back in her life.
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (26 November 2012):
 If she wanted you in her life, you would be there. Time to move on to someone else. If you need someone in your life, you need to look inwards to what's causing that need, and it's probably something that you feel you're missing in yourself... Stop being needy and look within to your inner strength and such. Time helps... That's the best help that I can give you.
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A
female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] +, writes (26 November 2012):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) Personally, I think you're just wasting your time. If she wanted to be in your life she wouldn't have ignored you just out of the blue. I'm not sure, she could have had family problems or something but people shouldn't just ignore you without a legitimate excuse especially it being a while, I would just move on. There are millions of lovely people in this world and there's one that will be with you and they will not talk to you sporadically if not at all. It appears by the way you make her out to be she lives up to that saying "ignorance is bliss" Move on and be happy, you're only hurting yourself more by thinking of her, feelings change and maybe she will but right now, you should be thinking about making yourself happy. Do things like going to the movies, hanging out with friends, etc to get your mind off of her. Take care. c:
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