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I want my ex back, trouble is I don't think he wants to know

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 July 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I want my ex back, trouble is I don't think he wants to know

I was seeing my ex for 7 months and the last few weeks of this he blew hot and cold, was very busy at work and under pressure so I tried to be supportive and help. Out of the blue he dumps me citing that the spark had gone and other lame excuses. He wants to be friends but only texts if I send one. I really miss him but feel even if he wanted me back he wouldn't say, now I'm stuck and can't move on

please help

View related questions: at work, move on, my ex, spark, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2007):

There is no easy way to sat this. Here it goes, your ex is selfish with his feelings and clearly does not seem to care much about yours. I would not be suprised if a few weeks later he calls and wants to hang out. He obviously has something more important on his mind than you. Put him in his place and let him know youre worth nore and not prepared to be played with.... You will be suprised, there is a lot more strength in you than you give yourself credit.

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A female reader, bemused Canada +, writes (7 July 2007):

bemused agony auntHi hun

I read your post a few times and this is a confusing situation. I think we get used to having someone there for us and when it is pulled away....for whatever reason it is hurtful and it is confusing. Sounds like he did a bit of a lukewarm job in letting you go. He mentioned the lack of a spark and you mention other excuses. What were they? Did they make sense to you. He may have mentioed friendship because he does like you and wants to let you down gently. The fact that he is only responding to texts when you intiate it means he is sending you a silent sign and that is that the relationship is over. I think that if he wanted you back he would not have let you go in the first place. I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear but now you need to think about yourself and grieve this.There is a lot of good sense in another post here on how to move on. You sound like you have a lot to offer and this guy did not see it...somewhere out there, there is someone who will. Good luck!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2007):

This sounds like a hostage taking situation. Most women drive a wedge between a smart man and his work. Do you have a foggy clue what it is like to struggle with mathematical equations for two solid days only to have a woman with a long face griping about a lack of attention? You want his attention... try this out. Buy a see-through blouse go out clubbing with your girlfriends and snap a few pix of you dancing with a black chap and your knockers on display. The pictures have to leave no doubt about the availability of your wares.

What this does is change your light from some nagging pain in the tail to a sexual predator. Because he is a nerd and likes intellectual things, his mind will play with this scene. If you go back and revert to mousy housefrau, he will lose all interest. Sexuality comes from the mind. It is a game with endless pertubations. Remember, if he has the strength of mind to work hard and block out the world, he has the strength to tell you where to get off and mean it. The only edge you have is sex but he doesn't want the package; he just wants the sex. A bright man bores easily, a genius bores in seconds. Either learn to play the game or pack your bags for Kansas Dorothy!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2007):

Hun I promise you your not stuck it just feels that way right now, You may need to chat to other Men on the internet or something just talking this is a way out of these feelings you’ll realize all sorts of men could be a good influence in your life but don’t dive into dating them straight away or anything but talk,

and was the only way out for me to get over my ex I went to the gym, took care of myself got some beauty treatments just made myself feel as nice as possible,

Chatted to different men they all told me they liked me that made me feel good again, I went out with friends and had trust that one day I would feel brilliant and you know what I did and I know now I will never need my ex and if you really want to feel this freedom this independence you can as well,

He doesn’t deserve your support he left you so now you need to look after yourself, You wont feel like this over night but day by day you will feel a little bit better,

Everything happens for a reason Hun,

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