A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi me and my bf are both 16 and have been going out with eachother for nearly 2 months.we have only kissed about 4 times in one day. but that was about a month ago and we havent kissed since!also his mate has a gf and he is always saying to us have you fingered each other etc. cos him and his gf have.i am worried cos im not ready for that yet and if i dont do that with my bf im afraid he will dump me if we dont do it soon :( (i know for sure my bf likes me for who i am and would never force me into anything cos if he didnt like me then he wouldnt of stuck around even tho we havent done anything sexual would he?) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, katzkitten +, writes (20 February 2007):
 chances are most people regret who there first kiss and all that stuff was with so you only live once ryt. have fun. One thing that caught my eye in your question tho, u say "im afraid he will dump me if we dont do it soon" but then you go on to say "i know for sure my bf likes me for who i am and would never force me into anything " how sure are you about that? if your so sure then you dont need to do anything as he should stand by you 100% and if he would dump you for not is he the kind of boy you want to go out with? and as for his m8, if he asks just say we dont kiss and tell and leave it at that! good luck chikka let me no how it all goes xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2007): PLEASE don't ever do anything because you feel you have to. i lost my virginity when i was really young because i wanted to feel older and to fit in with everyone. if i could take back anything in my life, it would be that. I don't know if your guy will wait because i don't know him but if he doesn't then he isn't worth the effort anyway!
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A
female
reader, JulietteElise  +, writes (19 February 2007):
 I agree with everything xxxsoulsistaxxx said, but would like to reassure you as well with my own expericences.
I started dateing in highschool freshman year, and we ended up dateing all four years of highschool...
and you know what?
he waited untill after we graduated highschool before we ever had sex because that is what i had wanted. Thus, he waited four years for us to have sex! He did this because he truley loved me, and he had a wonderfull, happy, and intense relationship, and even though its been 5 years or so since then and we havent dated for these past 4 years, we are still best friends. We took our time and gradualy became sexual at our own pace (withen a year we had started the whle "exploreing" but no real sex untill after highschool of course). No guy who truley loves you would ever pressure you to do things you arent comfertable with, or brake up with you because of it. Esspically not because other people pressure him to do things. My guy would be teased at times (but eventually since we had dated for so long people just assumed we were "doing it" all the time... which also anoyyed him, lol), but he loved me so much, and i loved him soooo much as well. Neither of us regrets anything and were so happy we were eachothers first b/f and g/f and firsts for all things sexual and sex. Because we waited untill we were ready, and since we had dated 4 years and truley did love each other, when we were ready for sex it was a beutifull and great thing... it didnt even hurt me. It really disgusts me, and desturbs me, how many people on this site are so younge and becomeing sexual just because they think they have to, weither its because they've been dateing for "two months already!" or because "everyone else is" and so forth.... sexuality is a natural thing, but it should also be soemthing that is done carefully, and for real love... in my opinion anyways.
sooo.... yes! You are not alone, and you have nothing to fear. Anyone who really loves you WILL wait, and those who brake up with you because of it (or try to pressure you) really arent worth being with anyways. Remember, just because his friend looovvveees bragging beacuse he thinks hes sooooo "awsome" due to what he and his girl have done, this dousnt mean your guy will be like that. And lets face it.... most guys (esspically at 16!!!) are extremmmly imature. You and your guy are better then that. So don't worry hun, i'm liveing proof that if a guy loves you he will wait! :0)
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (19 February 2007):
 His mate sounds childish and you two need to concentrate on you two, not what everyone else is getting up to. If you're not ready to do anything with him yet, that's fine, you're only young, you don't need all these problems yet. Just let him know this as soon as possible.
If he doesn't stick around, you know he wasn't worth dealing with in the first place. If he doesn't respect you enough to wait until you're ready, he won't wait around for much time after you've had sex either. He can't love or respect you so good riddance if he acts this way.
If he understands and still wants to be with you, that shows he does care for you. This doesn't mean you are under any pressure: if he loves you, he'll wait as long as it takes. Take things slow and only do them when you want to, not when he does or when other people say you should. This other girl will be sorry when he boyfriend moves onto someone else because he gets bored of how easy she's being.
I really hope you listen to this advice, I really hate the thought of girls being pressured into doing something so special so young when they really don't want to. It's nothing to rush into, these are the things you will remember forever so make it special.
Good luck and stand your ground.
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