A
female
age
30-35,
*B057
writes:Ok, so i need help big time. I've been dating this guy for about four months now. We've spent almost every day together and i honestly feel like i have totally fallen in love with this man. There is a huge age difference but i've never dated someone my age. I'm 22 and he's 45. He's extremely passive and i'm the polar opposite. we've gotten along great for the most part. we have had our arguments like everyone else. But he's not affectionate at all. He never tells me im pretty or says anything sweet. He doesn't want to kiss me or have sex. Its really affected my self esteem. It makes me think im not good enough and i've even resulted to searching for his ex girlfriends online to compare my looks with theirs. I don't know if hes not attracted to me or what. I've tried talking to him about it but he doesn't open up and he can be very difficult to talk to. he tells me he loves me and wants to be with me but he doesn't show it at all. I'm extremely affectionate towards him. I try to make him feel wanted in every way possible. I text him everyday telling him how handsome he is and how much i care about him. I always complement him and try to touch him when we are together. He just doesn't look happy anymore and this is killing me. i need some advice..please!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 January 2012):
 I don't think it's the age gap at all. I think it's more the personal style of the OP vs the BF..
IF you need more affection and attention and he cannot provide it then you are mismatched.
If in the early stages of your relationship he is not affectionate enough and never wants sex then later on it will just get worse
I think that you are doing to him what you want him to do to you.... and you magically expect him to know that this is what you are asking for.
you need to tell him I need these things.. (calls, compliments, texts, kisses, cuddles, sex) or whatever...
doing to him what you want is just pushing him away...
personally while it feels like game playing I would totally back off on the attention and affection you hoist on him and see what happens...
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