A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,here it goes.. my sex life with my boyfriend is fine. He doesn't need to go anywhere else to get what he wants,but i still want to remind him that i'm all he needs. So i kinda need some tips if you have any for me? i wanna try new things with him just you know to make him happier with everything? any help would be awsome. thanks.
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (23 November 2010):
 Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad it worked out for you. Always good to hear I'm not just full of B.S.
As an addition to what I wrote below, the opposite of surprise is anticipation, and it's every bit as good. Try letting him know first thing in the morning what you're planning to do that night, maybe send a reminder text around lunchtime.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOdds,this was fun. i tried it and thank you lol.
Anonymous,Well this is great advice but i didn't mean my question as me saying that sex is all i'm good for to him. He treats me like his world,we are really happy but i wanted to try something different rather than the same old boring things. I do respect your help but it seems like what you think of me is that i wanted him to come back or love me just cause i was willing to try new things? i don't mean to sound rude but i know i'm better than that but you telling me that i'm kind or wrong for wanting to i don't know make things more fun between us is a little "mean". it really doesn't matter anymore,he told me he is glad that i was wanting to make things better but i'm all he needs so it's fine.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): Are sex acts all your boyfriend wants and needs? If that is the case... then there will always be someone who can do 'it' (whatever 'it' is) better than you. That is the bottom line.... and if that is the sum and total of what he 'needs' from a woman... sex acts... then you are easily replaceable by the next eager orifice.
Is that what you 'think' he is? Is that what he is?
Is that all you think you have to offer a man? What about him courting you? What about him finding ways to win your heart? Whatever happened to that?
I dated quite a bit before I married when I was 35 years old and NEVER once did I waste a second of my time pondering ways I could sexually service a dude in order to fulfill his genital needs. I was courted. They went out of their way to get to my heart... flowers, dinner, romance... and still maybe that didn't even work... because I cared about the man... who he was inside. What made him tick.
You can be an eager orifice and perform every single solitary sexual act for a boyfriend known to mankind and it will still never be enough... if that is all there is between you. Because even if you did everything with absolute perfection... then... he could show up with his need for 'variety'... well, the list goes on.
I used to look gorgeous when I left for a date... I cared about getting to know the person. Who he was, what was going on in his life.
Laughter was the biggest aphrodisiac going. Looking beautiful for a date and acting like a woman... a lady... got me more dates than I could shake a stick at... along with marriage proposals. I remember one extremely handsome guy (who was a reformed player) that I was the first 'woman' he was ever with... that all others were girls. Why? Because I wasn't being a silly girl trying to win his heart by performances. We could laugh, there was attraction... he appreciated that I groomed myself. When he went out with me he was admired for the beautiful date who accompanied him.
In other words I brought more to the table than just my body and my willingness to do everything on this male list of sex acts. And... it was the other things I brought to the table of value that engendered a connection from them to me. Their desire to show appreciation for me is what spurred their desire to send me roses. Or to shower me with laughter. To show me respect. It was everything outside of the bedroom that led them to me... and kept them there. The bedroom was the added chemistry. The connection had been extended to include sex/lovemaking... but that wasn't the only reason they were there.
Because I was more than that.
You are more than that.
Don't sell yourself out. You bring more to the table than just your ability to perform sex acts for a boyfriend. Let him see those things.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (19 November 2010):
Surprise him. Have sex in some time or place when he does not expect it. Maybe pull over during a road trip for a quickie, or ask him to come home in the middle of the day dor some pretense and then tear his clothes off.
See, he won't be surprised if you have sex at around midnight or after a party or a movie, so you have to be more creative. Middle of the day is a good time, or under a blanket while camping.
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