A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:About 3 months ago I ended my relationship with my bf because he was abusive. But I still feel I have so many things I need to say to him. At the time I was to scared of him to say why I was breaking up...I could barely face him. But now I'm not scared of him. I want to tell him what I think of him, how much he hurt me and how badly he affected me. I want to tell him thatwhat he did was wrong and that I should of never put up with it. I want to make him see what he did for all it was, I want him to realise and to make positive changes in his life, to seek help...But I dont know how to do that and if I should even contact him. I fear that if I talk to him and/or see him it may bring back feelings for him. I have talked to him twice since we broke up (he called me) and he was all nice and pretending to be super nice...the first time it brought back all these feelings for him (but i dindt tell him) and the second i felt nothing, maybe that was cuz i moved on? When i talked to him i was just civil and didnt say much at all.I also fear that if I talk to him and he says sorry and admits to what he did was wrong, then i wil want him back, because i think he would of changed.What do you think i shoul do? if i dont talk to him how do i get full closure? i just want to hear him say sorry...he never once said sorry to me in our whole relationship.
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (15 November 2007):
 What more do you really want? Trying to get an abuser to admit they were wrong and apologize and have them mean it without an alternative agenda, that would be just wishful thinking.
I wouldn't worry much about him, keep working on yourself. Build your strength to the level that abuse will never be something you'll stand for no matter how you feel about the person causing it. Expecting an apology is OK, but if it's not sincere I wouldn't want it. Him trying to play super nice is part of the abuse. He'll treat you like a queen until your in his grasp again then his past behavior would repeat.
Be happy that you're one who's gotten out of this bad situation. That is something to really be proud of.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 November 2007):
What more do you really want? Trying to get an abuser to admit they were wrong and apologize and have them mean it without an alternative agenda, that would be just wishful thinking.
I wouldn't worry much about him, keep working on yourself. Build your strength to the level that abuse will never be something you'll stand for no matter how you feel about the person causing it. Expecting an apology is OK, but if it's not sincere I wouldn't want it. Him trying to play super nice is part of the abuse. He'll treat you like a queen until your in his grasp again then his past behavior would repeat.
Be happy that you're one who's gotten out of this bad situation. That is something to really be proud of.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 November 2007):
What more do you really want? Trying to get an abuser to admit they were wrong and apologize and have them mean it without an alternative agenda, that would be just wishful thinking.
I wouldn't worry much about him, keep working on yourself. Build your strength to the level that abuse will never be something you'll stand for no matter how you feel about the person causing it. Expecting an apology is OK, but if it's not sincere I wouldn't want it. Him trying to play super nice is part of the abuse. He'll treat you like a queen until your in his grasp again then his past behavior would repeat.
Be happy that you're one who's gotten out of this bad situation. That is something to really be proud of.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 November 2007):
What more do you really want? Trying to get an abuser to admit they were wrong and apologize and have them mean it without an alternative agenda, that would be just wishful thinking.
I wouldn't worry much about him, keep working on yourself. Build your strength to the level that abuse will never be something you'll stand for no matter how you feel about the person causing it. Expecting an apology is OK, but if it's not sincere I wouldn't want it. Him trying to play super nice is part of the abuse. He'll treat you like a queen until your in his grasp again then his past behavior would repeat.
Be happy that you're one who's gotten out of this bad situation. That is something to really be proud of.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): It is possible that you will never get the apology that you are searching for. Maybe he just doesnt see that he has done anything wrong, he thinks its to late to say sorry, or he just finds it too hard to say. It is unlikely that him saying sorry will change anything for you and it is probably the fact that you still have feelings for him and miss him, that you see focusing on an apology as the way out of your hurt.
I think you should maybe accept that you are unlikely to get him to be sorry for what he put you through. You need to let go of your ex and realise that it is indeed too late for an apology as it will not change anything. You are not in a relationship with this guy anymore, and it ended for a good reason, do not expect anything from him and you can then let go.
Good luck and best wishes
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A
female
reader, Chalie**  +, writes (15 November 2007):
It is possible that you will never get the apology that you are searching for. A
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