| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: me n my boyfriend have been together for 5 months but we were friends for a while b4 so we really knew each other and are very comfortable with each other...we have tried to have sex a 4 different days but numerous times each day...i'm a virgin but he is nowhere close to being a virgin. he took someone else's virginty easily but he cant take mine...i want to lose my virginity to him but i'm at the point of being a virgin for the rest of my life...we are both discouraged because he cant get it in no matter what...and it hurts sooo much when he tries to penetrate me but nothing ever happens. we got close once but i couldnt take the pain. can someone please help me because i dont know what to do about the sex thing...we both want it to happen and i know for sure i want to lose it to him but at this point it seems like its never going to happen...what can i do to make "it' happen? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (28 September 2006):
 It sounds to me that maybe your not ready or worrying about this and therefore your not relaxing fully making this difficult and painful for you.
I found when I came to lose my virginity when I tried when I wasn't completely ready therefore I couldn't relax so we just couldn't do it no matter how much we tried but a few months later when the hype of losing my virginity had gone me and my boyfriend at the time were in the right situation I was able to relax and take our time and because of this I was able to lose my virginity also due to that fact I was then ready.
You need to lose the pressure you are holding on yourself to lose your virginity, maybe you are worrying that because your boyfriend isn't a virgin anymore than you need to go through with this, maybe your just not ready yet, you'll know when you are.
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 I don't know how old you are but it sounds like you're not quite ready. Although you may love him and want him to be the one you lose your virginity with, you're now showing physical signs that perhaps you're not ready. All you need to do is relax, take your time, have lots of foreplay before you attempt any penetration. I think if you were mentally/emotionally ready, you'd probably find your body would respond naturally to the physical side. I know it may be a scary but it shouldn't hurt for long, just maybe when he first puts it in. If you are lubricated enough (from your own secretions) you shouldn't find it too difficult once you get going. I personally don't see the point in using alternative lubrication as it does just sound like you need more time. Stop planning it. If you know this is the guy you want to lose it to, just let it happen in it's own time. Otherwise the more you think & worry about it, the more painful it will be as you're in effect tensing up because of the pressure in your mind. (The brain is a powerful part of a sexual relationship, so you need to be ready up there too). In short, take your time, have fun and enjoy each other without the pressure of having to have penetration just yet.
...............................
|
