A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi peeps i have just recently had a baby. she is seven weeks old and i am at my wits end and feel like my life is not worth living. my partner does nothing for my baby and does not contribute even though he lives in my house. he is too busy at his parents helpimg them and never helps me. i look after my baby full time and really want him to leave. he has threaten to leave so many time, but i beg him to stay for the sake of my baby. he lives at my house rent free and gives me three hundred pound a month to cover everything from his full time job. he treats me like a piece of dirt but i have no friends or confidence to leave as i am scared i will not be able to cope on my own. my parents support me the best they can but i can go home and they are too old to help care for her. i do all the night feeds and sometimes want a break but unable to get it as if i ask my partner he only shouts at me and my baby and is nasty to my baby. i am scared of him as he has a temper towards me and my baby. i sleep in sepeparte rooms as i am scared he will harm me or her as he get annoyed with the lack of sleep due to the crying. i am scared to leave him as i dont know what he will do to me and the baby and i am scared i will not cope. please give me advise as i am at my wits ends
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): I don't think you need to worry about coping alone, because you are doing that all ready, and would do it even better if you had't got this stress as well.
It's your home and he is living with you so you need to get him out. Next time he says he's leaving say ok then, don't beg him to stay, or do you have anyone in the family that can help? Or as Jay1984 says try the women's shelters and ask what help is out there.
Good Luck
A
female
reader, AD_2009  +, writes (5 November 2009):
I have done this hun. I had to leave for the sake of me and my daughter. I was 16 when I had her and left less than 6 months later. I left our house, which I was paying for, and moved back to my mothers. No she wasn't any more help, but I didn't have the constant stress and fear of him. It will be okay, I promise you that. Go to the police and get a restraining order or something to keep him away from you and your daughter. It's our jobs as mothers to band together to raise these children right
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (5 November 2009):
 If he is violent toward you and the baby, you have to leave. He's already not helping you with the baby and you're doing everything on your own, so nothing will really change if you leave him except you'll be happier and more at peace. Even though your parents are older, I'm sure they will help you in any way they can, which is more than your husband does.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): Yor are that girls mother, you have the responsibility of keeping her safe! This is an unsafe, unstable situation you are in GET OUT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. Ask yourself, how would you cope in life if he did something to harm your baby? Or alternatively, how you would you care for your girl if he harms you???Look up women's refugee shelters and see what help is available. Do it today. Be strong for your baby, she needs you. You shouldnt have to live like that!
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