A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend of over a year almost 3 months ago, and it was a sticky situation. His Dad had made things difficult for us, and had told my ex that we only lusted for each other, and didn't really love each other. My ex doubted how we felt about each other, despite how long we'd been together, and we broke up. We told each other we loved each other every day for a week after we broke up, and I am still head over heels in love with him. On Friday, we spent the night at our explorer scout unit headquarters (my ex's dad is a leader), and we ended up talking quite a lot.I'm looking too far into this.I had a skinny fit top on. He saw.He looked me up and down and went 'You've lost weight haven't you? You look good.'Then he gave me the loveliest smile ever.Then later we spoke and he asked me if I was ok, I said no, and he told me to cheer up. Then we spoke about when I had a panic attack over him just after we broke up and stuff, and I told him why things upset me, and we spoke really well. I miss him and all, but I have to stop looking into stuff like this too much. I told him about when I catch myself daydreaming about him and I hit my head off of the wall to stop myself, and then he asked me if we could have a 'friendly hug', which lasted a little longer than your average hug. He had his arms around my shoulders, I was leaning into him with my hands on his chest (We were sat on the floor).Then later on we discussed how my boobs have gotten smaller 'cause I've lost weight, and when we went to sleep, I took my bra off under my pyjama top, he asked me what I'd just done, and I told him. He called me a killjoy (I'm guessing he was saying he'd have liked me to have taken my top off?)But now I don't know what to do. I want to pursue something with him, because I miss him so much, but I don't even know if he was actually flirting with me. How do I find out if he still feels anything for me, and if he does, how do I make my move?Thank you.
View related questions:
boobs, bra , broke up, flirt, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (21 February 2011):
 I'm happy for you, and if it helps ease your pain and separation anxiety from your beloved then all power to you.
Pour you love into it, try to focus on the positive, but treasure it, as something you do not share with others. Because ulimately it is to shore up your aching heart and help bring some calm and if you look for something positive to focus on every day you will find that eases the pain too. Best Wishes, Abella
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice- I keep a diary now anyway, so I'm going to buy a big notebook especially for this, and keep it updated, writing in it after my diary every night.
Thank you :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (21 February 2011):
Of course he feels good about you. Just his actions and reactions tell you that. But he has to grow in maturity. just like you. Amd respect his parents wishes just like you.
If you both try hard and do well at school then the career paths you want to pursue will be so much easier. And better earning potential in the future will make married life easier to (if you are meant to marry each other in the future)
My longer answer is below
My very best wishes to you for a happy future.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (21 February 2011):
Time heals eveything but when still young a time period feels like an eternity. If we have to endure delayed gratification.
And I would not blame you if all you wanted to read were enabling answers that spelled out exactly how you can try to abuse the trust of others by trying to pursue a relationship now.
I have an idea that will represent a love story to him.
Not unlike girls had to do 100 years ago. It might help you when you want to concisely write up your feelings.
Get a strong blank big exercise book. Do not even consider putting it as a blog on the internet. As then someone will be able to read it.
By writing it up it will become part of your love story. And when you and he are a happily married couple (if that comes to pass) in the years to come then you can sit and read it someday, together.
Pour your heart into it when you feel you want to tell him something, but can't.
Never take the exercise book to school, but write it up after you have done your homework, with no more than one page on any one day(otherwise your passion for this guy could lead to 48 pages on the first night)
You do not even need to write in it daily.
Do not write in it anything that will freak your mother out.
So this will need some discipline on your part.
But remember not seeing him is already taking some discipline so this is just one more tactic to help you cope with the pressure.
Keep this journal in a safe place in your bedroom, and do not share it with your friends, nor him, until you are 16 years.
Put it somewhere safe in your bedroom, not where friends or brothers or sisters may come across it and make fun
If you want to be able to pursue a relationship later with this guy then it is a good idea not to get his father off side. Because then there is divided loyalty. It would not be fair on him.
Whereas if you act respectfully and honor his father's decree now then when you are a little older it will make things easier, if you still care as much then, as you do now, about each other
Pursuing something now will only upset everyone.
The parents are putting trust in you now, allowing you to see each other at Scouts. That is a small opportunity. Don't ruin that opportunity by actively pursuing him now.
By respecting the rules and finding ways to deal with the heart ache you feel now you will be growing in maturity. The path of true love is never smooth. Think of all the love sick girls who from 1914 to 1919 had to be without their darlings. and had the added worry that their darlings were at war in World War II (1914-1919)
When you finally can be together (if that is what does come to pass) you will have acted with dignity and decorum and earnt the respect of his family and him for bearing up so well during this enforced absence.
...............................
|
