A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was with my boyfriend for 7 months and things had been hard on us, as alot of our relationship was spent apart but I thought it would all be worth it as come September we would be together properly (we would both be at the same university). Don't get me wrong, we never argued or anything, and we were always really happy together. It's just that over the summer the distance physically meant there was some distance emotionaly too. I felt we had worked it out and things had never been so good and he says he felt the same. However, when we both got back to uni, we only lasted a week. I got annoyed as I wasn't seeng much of him, as there was miscommunication as we both thought each other just wanted time with friends. This resulted in us having an argument when we were drunk and him ending it. He says hes not sure if he wants a relationship anymore but that he still loves me and he knows hes can't mess me around. He also says that he feels I became distant with him and felt we did't know enough about each other as we should have and felt that when we were totally happy and comfortable with each other at the end of summer, it was just a bubble. This annoys me as I feel he didnt give it time when we were together to see what it could be like and he just gave up at the first sign of trouble. It was our first ever argument and wasnt really anything serious. He says he hates how hes been a crap boyfriend and feels I deserve so much better. but yet he's the only person I want. It's been over a month now and hes still all I think about and I just dont feel I'm geting over him at all and I really dont want to because I feel there still is something there with us and he just needs a bit of time to himself to think. Over the past month we have kissed on a number of occassions and hes slept over at mine, although we did not have sex. At the beginning he said how he didnt want to mess me around but that he couldn't turn off his feelings for me but was still confused. But now it seems he only bothers contacting me when he's drunk which is frustrating because I at least want to be friends with him and we agreed we would try and be friends. I feel if I show him we can be friends it will show him that we can be together, but if not I still want the friendship. I'm just so confused as to why he keeps kissing me and telling me he has feelings when he's drunk but ignores my texts when hes sober. Should I just ignore him back? but I don't think I can be mean back to him. Any suggestions on how to show him how stupid hes being? I know theres plenty more fish in the sea, but unfortunately I really do love him and cant forget him. Thanks
View related questions:
drunk, kissing, text, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Awiserowl +, writes (5 November 2008):
A classic case of low self esteem on his part or he is confused about his sexuality.
It is possible he is gay and you love him because you feel safe with him as most women do with gays. Don't confuse love with affection.
I suppose if I am totally wrong then you should ask yourself if it is right that he can only be himself when he has had alcohol? That can never be right!
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): It sounds like you are doing a lot of the work here while he only responds. I think you best plan is to try and spend more time with your friends and back off a bit. He could come round and miss you - you haven't given him the chance to - or he could really want to be out of it. Either way you may get a bit further to the truth and if it's bad news at least you'll be able to move on.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, I would be hard pushed to follow my own advice, but a lot of men don't like to be chased.
...............................
|
