A
female
age
41-50,
*hymeagain
writes:my fiance and I got into a fight and he broke it off with me. Dated for 3 years, engaged for 7 months. We had no contact for 6 weeks and he then email me and said if we are going to fix this relationship and have a start fresh he wanted to know why I didn’t trust him. I told him his behaviour and that he started drinking after 12 years of being sober scared me which led me to check is email. (which I know was totally wrong of me but I was so scared and didn’t know what else to do) I had tried to talk to him first and he just started yelling at me. Before we can have a frest start I told him I’m seeking help for my insecurites and he said he start seeking help for his trust issues. We agreed it was too soon to see each other. I left him alone for a week and then email him on the Monday to see if he wanted to have lunch on the Sunday to see if we could start fixing our relationship. He told me that his stress is caused by our relationship and it’s best we do not see each other. I love him and don’t know what else to do. Do I wait for him to email me again or do I send him a written letter explaining everything and see if we can’t fix this before I have to address the loan of the truck which I don't want to bring up yet. (I trusted him to loan him $23000) If we are not together I don’t want him having the truck, cause he could just stop making the payments and I’m f… I'm scared that I have lost him for good and will have to drag this out in court. I don't want him back if he thinks that he's going to lose the truck. i want him back cause he loves me and we can work this out.
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female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (19 December 2010):
 ....Hi there, okay, take the truck and the loan, which I think was a bad idea, but it's done. But take the truck and the loan out of the picture if you can. What do you see? Do you get along or do you fight most of the time? Do you converse civilly, are you friends? Do you do things together? Are you happy to see him again when you have been apart? If these things are answered in the negative, then there is no relationship, it is over and probably has been for a long time even with the engagement. If on the other hand you can answer the questions positively then you could make it work with a few changes on both your parts. Otherwise sever the whole thing and move on, if you want the truck back you have to address it and go from there. Hopefully he has been paying you, if not I think if he is not paying then you have a possible legal alternative. Be honest with yourself and be your own best friend. Life is too short. Good luck with the whole thing.
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