A
male
age
,
*ack Ketch
writes:I am 49 and she is 50. I like her very much but I can't read the signs.....Typical male I guessWe spend hours on the phone practically every day. We go for lunch and to the pub on an evening. She tells me everything about herself. About her private financial matters, her family, her upbringing and her problems.She doesn't text and if I text her she innevariably calls me straight away. That usually results in at least a 30 minute conversation. If I text her to say I am in the pub she usually arrives withing 10 minutes. The conversation hasn't been particularly intimate but is slowly becoming moreso.Does she fancy or does she just want a male friend to talk to. I am OK with it if that is all it is. I just wish she would be a bit more direct. I would hate to kiss her only to destroy our friendship.
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male
reader, Jack Ketch +, writes (10 June 2007):
Jack Ketch is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat was sort of how I was thinking anyway, so you have confirmed what I thought. I really am useless at reading the game.
What I am quite good at is building her confidence in herself. She didn't really have too much and she thinks she is stupid/unintelligent and so on. I don't know why but I keep pointing out her skills and talents. I put her up to doing something which has been a resounding success and when she achieved it she burst into tears. It was a very significant event in her life and something that most people never achieve.
I do think that she might just like me because she isn't very good at blowing her own trumpet so I do it for her
A
female
reader, Sincere_07 +, writes (9 June 2007):
OH DEAR!
This must feel terrible for you. I can only advise caution. I know men are not the best at reading women but if you're reading into something and she just does want some attention and a friend you could end up losing her for good.
Tread carefully, if it is that she is feeling towards you outside the friendship box the signals will become very clear to you. It maybe that she has had a bad time with feelings before and does not want to push things. If you do push to hard you could frighten her so be yourself and enjoy her company.
Take your time, if something is going to develop it will. I know you may not want to hear this but you are going to have to be patient and see what happens. There is no way of rushing this incase you do get it wrong.
Treat her like you would a beautiful but delicate flower nourish and take care of it in the best way you can, and you will reap the rewards. You may find your relationship blossoms into something more physical, or you may just stay on the friendship road.
If you care about this lady as much as i think you do, being with her means more to you than anything, so is it such a hardship to wait and see what develops?
Trust me you will know if the time becomes right, she will show you what she wants. Just please tread carefully and take your time, everything will mean more to you as well if you gradually move closer instead of rushing off ahead of yourselves.
Could you be more direct in the way you are towards her? Ask to take her out properly a meal maybe or the pictures. Some alone time might be your best bet, or text her and say i've just bought a bottle or two of wine and i've got a few dvds do you fancy a movie marathon and a few glasses of Veno Collapso?
There is nothing more intimate than being sat on the couch with wine, conversation and a movie.
Again i advise caution alcohol can cause us to become "unknowingly" forward.
I do hope this helps and i do hope you both get what you want and need from your relationship x
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