A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi there...after 4 years in a LDR, i decided to break up with my bf... he was my first bf and i love him very much...i felt we were difting apart, he was too focused in college and his job, and so was i. we never had time for each other and fought constantly when we were together.he was hurt, but we still talk everyday.after a couple weeks, i met this guy (he's a friend of a friend)... he's cute, nice, and i thought, why not have a good time? it's not like i'm going to fall in love with him, especially since he lives in another city, and i'm done with LDR.The thing is, i found out this guy already hooked up with all of my friend's friends (so i'm just another one). besides that, he used to go ou with a girl and while she was asleep, he'd go out and hook with other girls... maybe i shouldn't care about that, we're not dating or anything... but i felt wierd when i found that... i kinda new he wasn't the dating tipe, but i thought he was the one-girl-at-the-time kind of guy...i hate what if's... but what if i start to develop feeling for this guy? i don't wanna get hurt!and my ex is talking about getting back together... i've avoided the matter, but i'll have to face it, soon!i don't know what to do! i still love my bf, but i want to have "an adventure"... i just didn't want to be another girl... am i asking too much? am i crazy?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2011): No, its natural to be sexually intimidated, while not having sex for a long time.
First thing is first. I think you have to confront your boyfriend. if you think he is worth it and if you can see a future with him - stay with him!... if not then i suggest that you break up before you try anything else...
and 2nd, You already understand that this guy is a player and he has been with so many girls already... Sweet talking or not, its all part of a player's game.. they know how to sweet talk to bang girls. This guy sounds like he just wants to give you his dick. (after that is complete history)
If "adventure" means having sexual intimacy with him. than just think to yourself for a second "What are the consequences?" Will I be another girl on his girls that he banged list??
If you really know that you are going to get hurt for having sex with him. Then why do it? try other alternatives like: Finding a nice guy & have a real relationship or masterbating?
I think you deserve better than that.
I hope this helps =)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2011): So you want to have a fling with this player but you don't want to be one more of the meaningless girls he's fucked and you don't want to mess up things with your existing BF that you plan to get back with. That's an understandable thing to want. But it's also completely unrealistic. Yes, lots of girls have their flings with players. But they have to pay the price too. Let's get a few things straight.1. You WILL BE another one of the meaningless girls on the player's list. He will think of you as nothing but another cheap easy piece of ass later. (No matter what he tells you before and after the fling.) 2. Your boyfriend will have his heart completely ripped out and torn into shreds if he finds out you did this. He will think less of you. (In fact depending on the guy he is he may not want to get back together with you at all because of it.) It's not just that you got with someone else, it's that you got with this kind of cheating player. And you did it already knowing how he is. You willingly became another one of "those girls" that this player has fucked for nothing serious. You must understand that guys committed to a serious GF want to feel like they got a prize. You are not a prize if unworthy hot guys can have you more easily than average guys who are worthwhile BF material. You are being slutty in the eyes of the average guy. Once you become more slutty there is no reversing it. You cannot just tell your BF that you regret it later and expect your BF's feelings to go back to how they were before you did it. Trust me on this, the respect and good feelings that he loses for you will NEVER come back. Some of what I am saying may be unpopular and even sexist. But I am not telling you how most women want this to play out in an ideal world. I am telling you how this is going to play out with real guys in the real world.
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