A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 2 years and I had a really huge fight yesterday. It started when he told me his boss had asked him to work away in the other office for 2 days out of the week, which he would stay down there. He then told me that I couldn't live without him for that long anyways. So I told him since he put it that way, I guess I couldn't and I'm not too happy about the situation.We have actually had a few bad past months. I found out he went to his lady boss's house, that I'm not too fond of, when he told me he was going shopping with his friend and I had to hear this from someone else, because he wouldn't tell me. Then a guys wife had told me that he my bf was using me for a free place to live, a free car to drive, he gets sex from me, and when he gets the good job he is waiting for he is leaving me and the lady boss from work is helping him find a place. He claims this woman is crazy, but it was just odd that she knew all this stuff about him and she wouldn't know unless he was saying something about it cuz I wouldn't have told her, she don't even know me!I have found a couple girl phone numbers in the car that he drove, which was my parents. I told him I didn't appreciate him accepting phone number from other girls and that he should have some respect for me.Everytime I ask my bf why he is with me, and I mean EVERYTIME, he can't answer me. He either tells me it's not the right time to discuss that or he don't know. I'm still obviously thinking a little bit about that girl said he was going to do.So he wanted to discuss this job situation last night and I told him there was nothing to discuss. He had already told me how I felt and that was that. He can't even talk to me about our relationship problems, let alone a job situation. We have no good communication whatsoever and when i tell him this or try and talk to him everything turns into an argument. So the fight escalated into him not being able to tell me anything because I might get mad. Well, the stuff he DON'T tell me, isn't even appropriate stuff for him to be doing if he had respect for me. So I told him if he can't talk to me about things there really isn't a reason for our relationship cuz I want a relationship with communication and not secrets. If that's how he is going to have this relationship be, I don't want to be with him and he just started playing a game. I don't even know what to think about this situation. Can anyone please just give me a little advice? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (10 April 2007):
 Well, it sounds like you're about 90% there already. You know you're being used. You know your guy is out hunting other women, and may or may not have something going on at work. You know he won't talk to you about it because if he does he's going to end up telling you about stuff that he shouldn't be doing. In fact, you two can't seem to talk about anything meaningful at this point. Can you even agree on what to have for dinner?
Duh.
What part of "get the hell out of there" don't you understand?
I can't believe you like playing the part of his public utility service. He seems to be taking from you, but giving precious little back in return.
Tell him as far as you are concerned he can stay down at that other location 24/7 from now on. Or just tell him goodbye and get gone. But don't prolong this. It isn't going to get any better. Ultimatums and nasty scenes will just make a bad situation worse.
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