A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm seeing this local celebrity. At first he said that he does not want a relationship because he is too busy but he visits when he has time. With my experience in the past I can never keep a relationship going for long,too many guys has taken me for a ride an now when I'm in new relationships I tend to think they will do the same and now I have trust issues. So now the other day I asked him if he is seeing someone else too even though I know he is nothing of me e.g:a bf type but he said no. so I'm not sure if I scared him away. When he is away he dont really comunicate much so I'm not sure what to do with this or other times if I do find someone. I just get too easily hung up on a guy an end up getting hurt. What to do what to do. Anyone? How do I get this trust issue sorted an start fresh?
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (26 May 2011):
 its fine to ask him if he is seeing anyone else. you have a right to know. some tips how to handle him or any relationship - don't sleep with him too soon so that he knows you don't go around having sex with every guy you meet. be fair to him. give him freedom. be interested in his thoughts and comments. always make an effort with your appearance (this does not mean being dressed up and wearing lots of make up, just be nice) don't criticise his friends or family members. behave like you have got plenty of self confidence - behave like he is NOT too good for you (don't be dazzled just coz he is a celeb) - don't drop your friends, this will make you become too dependent on him and people don't like it. try to think positively - if you find yourself starting to have negative thoughts, work on this and put a positive spin on it. pay your way so he does not feel used for money. always think before you say something negative, check and double check if you REALLY mean what you are about to say - coz once your have said it you can't un-say it, always apologise if a disagreement is your fault. do not take any crap or disrespect from him - he'll need to know you won't tolerate it.
in other words, just be the best person you can, with him and with everyone else. if it turns out that this is not good enough at least you'll know you tried
x
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (26 May 2011):
 You have TWO issues here, not one.First, you have what you call trust issues based on your past dating experiences. You are dating a local "celebrity" that seems to be able to spend much time/bother to be in communcation when you are not together...this makes you feel insecure and wondering if he is seeing someone else.Maybe this is not the ideal relationship for you and you should be dating someone who IS a better communicator when you are not in each others presense.Asking him if he is seeing others could have made you appear needy and clingy to HIM. That may not be a trust issue, that may be that you are not capable of having a less active relationship.Take the man on his word. He is busy and at first did not want a relationship because he might have felt he could not invest himself in a relationhip/meet your needs.Maybe he was right?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2011): Yeah, you'll get hurt because he DOESN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP!! In other words, this is another one of those relationships that won't last long.
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