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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I currently live in an apartment complex where some of the people are disabled and elderly. Sometimes it can get a little depressing because some of them are not around my age. I am in my late forties and I like to be around younger people. I befriended a older lady across the hall from me and last year when I was sick she went with me to the hospital. I just found out that she died a few weeks ago. She was about 88 years old. I am having new anxiety because now her apartment is vacant and I often feel like I have no one to talk to in the building. I speak only to a few neighbors who are often helpful if I have a problem, but it's not like when I talk with my best friend from High School for 2 hours on the phone. I am nervous that they are going to put some nosy lady or a man in her apartment or a noisy person. I know I shouldn't be worried about it and I wish it would be a person around my age who I can talk to. I want to meet a nice guy to date and possibly get married again. I feel guilty for feeling this way because I have a lot of respect for elderly people. I have lost a lot of people in my life. My parents and Grandparents aregone. I was married and I am divorced but we are still friends and he helps me with some stuff but we don't always get along. He is part of the reason why I wantto have a new man in my life. Am I wrong to feel this way?
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (21 August 2013):
 There's nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. It's normal. However, what's not normal is wanting to meet a man to be your saviour, to fill the void. If you feel that way, and start dating with that mentality, you might find yourself being a bit desperate, accepting the first man that comes along, etc.
You don't have to feel guilty about wanting to spend time with people the same ages as you! I'd like to suggest meetup.com - they have meetings for all sorts of interests. A mix of women and men go, so it gives you the opportunity of making new friends of both gender, with similar interests to yours. There are also lots of companies that arrange trips/ vacations for single people/ solo travellers - also a good way to make friends, and still be able to go on holiday without having to go on your own.
I hope you find a nice guy, but don't be in such a huge rush, try to build up your life and your happiness in other ways first. The more independent and satisfied you are with your life, the more sucessful you will be at attracting a decent man.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2013): Why on earth should you feel bad about having a man in your life, that's just a ritorical question. Also, why do you put this much attention to people in your building? How are they of your concerned you don't want to really communicate with them and want younger people around you. Do your own things, and be polite but don't make friends with anyone, if you don't want them to depress them. It sounds like you have a very limited social circle. I am in my late 40s also, but I have plenty of friends who are even much younger than me. I don't live in the appartment , I have a house, and know my neigbours for years, though I am very friendly with them, they are not my friend's at all. The reason why I want to be around younger people because I am very active and want to do things with other people, who are active also. And these are ussualy younger people. I dance, I have friends from my dancing clubs, I go to GYM, boot camps, there are younger people there. Feel what you feel, it's ok, whatever it is. Find a guy, and live happily ever after with him or without.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2013): Yes, you are wrong in the way you are thinking. Having a man in your life to try and fill a void, rarely works in the long run. It generally ends up being a temporary solution to a problem you need to work on yourself first. And typically you end up molding yourself into something you are not, or settling for someone who is not what you really want so as not to be alone.
Time to change you life. Perhaps move to a place where there are people closer to your age. Join a gym or get involved in activities that you enjoy where you can meet other people. Invite people from work to get together for an evening out. You need to put yourself out there and go do something. You need to be happy in your own skin and with your life. When that happens, a man with only add to your happiness. Never ever look for a man to "complete" you or to try to make you happy.
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