A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i goto college and when i walk around college there are some really attractive girls. what I want to know is what should I say to them. I have never seen them before in my life and I want a girlfriend so what can I say to them when I go up to them.what should I do I usually just stand and look at a girl and if they look at me I smile. what should I do after if they smile back even when they're with their friends? as girls seem to hang out in groups i haven't done this before and just want some tips thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2012): If you are a good guy looking to give his inner feelings to a girl, then here's my advice (if you're just looking to get a girlfriend to have sex, then I hope you fail in your endeavor):
Firstly, be assertive. Girls love confidence. There are exceptions to this rule. Some girls like shy guys (but usually only if they liked them to begin with, not if they're just meeting). Being confident shows that you are A. willing to put yourself on the line, and thus, your ego and heart. and B. not a follower or errand boy that stand back but takes charge; a leader. These are subliminal to a girl, but TRUST ME, this is how it works to everyone from a universal psychological level.
Secondly, don't use any one-liners or pick-ups. No matter how cool or original it may sound in your head, it will sound like a macho squirrel being run over by 3-year-old's tricycle after molesting an obese blue jay. Confused? Put-off? Questioning whether you should take me seriously? Good. Now you know how she'll feel when you ask her if it hurt when she fell from heaven.
Thirdly, if she's in a group with her friends, try to feel out if the conversation is important (to them, not you). If it seems like they're treating it as a serious discussion, then it doesn't matter if it's about how her roommate took her dress without permission or if Obama should be re-elected. If they're laughing and joking, it's a good time to go in for it.
Fourthly, do not shy away from talking to her just because she's in a group. Girls LOVE it when you are willing to show affection to her in front of her friends (even if you're not dating...yet) so just roll with it (but don't specifically go for it during those situations). The fact that you singled her out of a group of 4-5 pretty faces, she'll have a huge self-esteem boost and it'll make her happy, and as the person who made her happy, you're that much more attractive in her eyes, and more importantly, in her heart.
Fifthly, be honest. If you were walking from Intermediate Calculus, and saw her as you were passing by and just felt so compelled to approach her and ask her for her number, then for the love of all things bright and beautiful, tell her "I was just walking from Intermediate Calculus when I saw you, and I just had to come up to you. Would it be alright if I got your number so we could meet up sometime?" Then look into her eyes. She'll hopefully turn a slight shade of pink or appear flustered as her friends smiles and giggle, then give you her number. Those two sentences coupled with the confidence of saying it with a straight face while looking her in the eyes mean more than any pick-up line from any rich, hot guy ever could.
Well, that's my advice. I know some of it sounds silly to do, and even scary or embarrassing, but I assure you, this will work. Perhaps not the first time (who knows, they may have a boyfriend or just not be interested in a relationship), but you will never know till you try. If you ever feel like you can't do it, go into actor mode. Consider everything part of a scene in a video shoot and that once it's over and done with, you'll go to wardrobe and be you again. That doesn't mean fake anything you say (remember step 5). It just means to distance yourself from feeling as though YOU are being judge, but rather the character is. Hope this helps.
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