A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, well this has been a really hard decision for me to make and to be honest I'm still not a 100% sure if it's the right decision either.Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 5 years now and we seemed perfectly happy together, we wanted the same things but every thing is never as you plan.Basically I want a family, I want to have a nice home and kids and a husband that in which will be there to protect me and help look after the kids, I know that kinda sounds the a child's bed time story but my boyfriend is great with kids and says he'd love some some day.Only the problem is he wants something different from me now, he wants to join the RAF. I thought it over and over and I can't seem to find away to get around it. I would wait for him but my family has a history lung diseases and I don't want to loose the chance of having my dreams. He says the RAF will send him to Uni for 3 years and then he'd like to do it for 5 years but I can tell that he doesn't want that, that he wants to stay there till he retires.So here's the thing, how do I end it? What's the best way that I can let him down, I love him so much and I really wish that he wanted the same things but I really can't ask him to give up something he wants to do for me.P.S. Please excuse the age, I'm 21 it's just this is my little sisters account. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): i have been in a similar position, me and my partner had been married for 2 yrs and we had decided that we wanted to start a family but he wanted to join the defence force (NAVY) it was hard for me to process at fisrt the thought that i may have married the wrong man cause he wanted a different future than i, when i got pregnant he left to join the navy i was alone for the first 8 months of the pregnancy but he came home for the birth he took some leave and stayed with me and our son for the first 3 mnths after he was born, so i guess if you really loved this guy you would find a way to make it work, im not going to lie to you its really hard and your going to miss him so much when he not around and you may even doubt your decision if you decide to stay with him, but when he comes home even if its not very long you will wonder why you ever doubted it in the first place cause you will be so happy to have him around and you can still write to him when hes awaybut i guess its up to you if you can handle a long term relation ship, just talk to him about it before you make any drasstic decisions, your still so young and have your whole life ahead of yougood luck i hope things work out for you
A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 You're just going to have to be honest and tell him. Tell him everything you're feeling about this situation. It'll obviously hurt him, but it's best to be honest with him. It's no good being in a relationship when you two don't want the same things. So be honest with him.
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