A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am a sixteen year old girl who hasn't really ever had a boyfriend. My mother says I'm too young to be worrying about that, but I do really want a long-term, caring, /attractive/ boyfriend. Probably too much to ask, I'm sure. My main problem is with my being overweight and having a bit of an issue with acne. I suppose I just want some advice about how to get what I'm after without doing anything super drastic about my physical appearance. Any response would be appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for the kind and helpful words! I'll make sure to take advice into account and be happier for it.
A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (29 June 2012):
 Honey when I was you age I felt exactly the same. I really wanted a nice, fun boyfriend who had things in common with me to hang out with. But I was shy and overweight. However, once I got to 18 I came out of my shell, made new friends and got my first boyfriend. I was still shy, I was still overweight. But I was focused more on being myself and having a good time and through doing that and having fun I met a guy who was what I was looking for.
Best advice I can give is don't worry too much about it. Instead, go out there and live your life. Be yourself and have fun. Go to clubs and social things outside of school, go to college, do whatever you want to do, and one day you will meet a guy who likes you for you. If you are being yourself and having fun, guys will see that and will be attracted.
I know you feel that your acne and extra weight make you unattractive, but they don't, you are still a beautiful young girl. If they bother you that much you can change them. Acne will most likely go once you get older. Or you can visit a doctor or dermatologist for advice. They might be able to give you something that clears it up. Being overweight has health related problems as well as the visual ones. But this depends exactly how overweight you are. Again a visit to the doctor would help you find out what's healthy. Or find out you BMI here http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ If you are a normal healthy weight you don't really need to worry, but if you are overweight, obese or at the top end of the normal range, there is nothing wrong with trying to bring your weight down. Please, please do NOT try to do this quickly with diets. They will ruin your figure and eating habits in the long run. They lead to starving and bingeing patterns which actually make you gain weight long term. I've gone through this. The best thing to do is to make small changes you can stick to and keep them up for the rest of your life. In a couple of months you will see changes in your weight and how you feel. I have done this and in 6 months lost 2 stone. I am not dieting, I am eating sensibly ie no more calories every day than I need(apart from the occasional day but you need to be flexable), eating healthier foods and getting active. Find exercise you enjoy and go at least once a week, but more is better. Again, don't go overboard with this. Start slowly. Eg go swimming once a week and eat an extra portion of veg this week, next week swim and cycle for an hour and replace snacks for healthier ones like fruit or yogurt. Again, your doctor will be able to give you the best advice on this.
Don't try to change overnight or put too much pressure on yourself. Take your time, find out who you are and what you want to do in life. Have fun with your friends, make new friends, look after yourself, and trust me, one day you will find a boyfriend :) Best way to find a guy is to stop looking and focus on making yourself happy. Honestly, it works like a charm! When you are looking yon ever find one, when you stop looking you'll be beating them off with a stick lol!
Good luck hun, be happy. Be the best you, you can be so you can be truly happy when you meet a good guy xxx
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 June 2012):
 You don't need to do anything super drastic unless you are morbidly obese rather than just overweight, or totally disfigured by acne rather than having a bit of an issue with it.
And both conditions, you have to tackle them anyway, normally and gradually, not drastically, but you really should, not so much for catching a boyfriend ( although it will certainly help, no use pretending that looks do not matter at all, and at your age then ! ) but for yourself and your HEALTH.
Overweight, if allowed to become chronical, leads to no end of complications later in life, diabetes, arthritis , heart disease, etc.
Acne is often the result of an hormonal - endocrine imbalance, that's another thing that needs to be kept under control.
Visiting a dermatologist / endocrinologist is not drastic, it's normal . Ditto for acquiring healthier eating habits and getting some exercise.
I know that this will make no sense whatsoever to a 16 y.o, girl, but , you gotta do it - for yourself.
Life is strange, there are fat girls with pretty boyfriends, and there are beautiful girls with flawless skin who end up alone, with only their twelve cats to talk to. Too many variables. The only thing that won't vary, that won't ever leave you, that will always understand you more than any man possibly could, is YOU. So, treat yourself well- and take good care of yourself . Starting from now.
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