A
female
age
36-40,
*aya85
writes:Any advice will be appreciated. I'm 25, feeling like I'm getting a bit old to keep having failed relationships and waiting around for a man who is more Mr right rather than Mr right now.Thing is I really want a baby, I'm Catholic and have always sworn i would only have a baby when I feel I've found the right man, we have lived together for a few years and have been married for another couple of years before I would ever consider having a baby.I always said no matter how I started feeling about it I would be a good catholic and have a stable family home for my baby. However for the last year all I can think about is having a baby, It's not a passing thought it's there all the time, I cry thinking about it. Do i put aside the religion and idealist thoughts and ask a friend to kindly donate, etc or just get help from a doctor or psych to try to understand my feelings and work through them? I'm totally lost and so confused.
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female
reader, toya7615  +, writes (26 August 2010):
I am 25 and will be 26 in October and I totally understand where you are coming from. I just want a baby so bad, it seems like the few people my age that didnt have one are now carrying...So I met this great guy not to long ago and we quickly fell and love and what do u know he also wants to have a baby so I want to go through with it, but the situation is far from ideal. He live in the US Virgin Islands and although he wants to move to the states he cant until about 2 years. So I really dont want to wait 2 years because I want 2 children and I vowed that I would start before Im 30. After 30 I dont think Im gonna start if it didnt happen by that point. Since I do have a cut off age if I dont have a baby by 28-29 I do plan on asking a friend or going to a sperm bank... my mind is already made up and if that doesnt work Im just not having any children.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (26 August 2010):
 I can relate!! This feeling with me started a year ago, wanting to have a baby, getting emotional over it, feeling a little jealous that you see pregnant girls, you feel that everywhere you go there's always a girl with a bump or a newborn swaddled in their car seat and it's like your being mocked. You don't have enough fingers and toes to count the pregnant girls you know. Get consumed by your thoughts thinking it's never going to happen to me I'm never going to have that blessing while tears are streaming down you face. Can't tell your friends because you think you sound crazy. It's all normal, your biological time clock started. And it sucks!!! Then on top of that, I kept on thinking I want a baby but I don't even have a boyfriend that's reliable..then you begin to think that marriage and a baby just are't in the cards for you. On Halloween, my luck turned around and I met my husband and were trying for a baby hopefully I'll get pregnant before he deploys..So if my luck can turn around so can yours..You don't know when you're going to find Mr. Right but he is out there, I wouldn't settle for doing it on your own, or being inseminated by a donor..Can you take the baby leave from work, will you be able to afford it, who will help you, hopefully you have a babysitter because day care is ridiculously expensive at $800 a month. I always believed that a baby is a joy to be shared with your partner. Bottom line, the doctor will tell you your biological time clock is ticking and that even though your 25 you still have plenty of time (which is true). Don't settle for less than you want as far as the guy problem goes..just make sure they share your same feelings for a baby..I wish you the best of luck in fact I'm sending good vibes your way..Do note that these feelings are strong at first then after awhile they float in and out of your head..and most of all you are not alone!!!
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