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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend is always too busy for me. We have been going out for a year. We both love each other dearly and know that we want to get married when i finnish Uni. I don't know if it is just men, but i feel that i am always running around after him, always saying yes to everything he wants to do just because i want to spend time with him. i find myself sometimes making up that im going out with my mates just so he thinks that i have more important things to do than run around after him, but when it comes to it i just say they cancelled so that i can see him because i adore him so much. Then when my mates do ask me out i have to say no because i want to see him.he just doesn't treat me the same as he did when we first got together. He was really intrested in me, always wanted to be around me, i was the more dominant one, i chose what we did and when.we never ever go out anymore...we just sit t home and watch telly....i want the relaionship to be like it was in the first few months...how do i do it!?PLEASE HELP ME! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2005): i cant believe this but i have the same problem, although it is getting better, i came on here looking for an answer and found your question. what me and my boyfirned have done is we have talked about it. he said that when we go out together which we do normally with his friends because mine are at university, he doesnt have as much fun because hes always aware that im there and wants me to have a good time and he feels really guilty if he sees that im not, or gets paranoid that im not. so he doesnt enjoy it when we go out together with his friends.hes very busy becasue he has a full time job and its hard for me becasue im not busy at all because i go to college twice a week ond spend the rest of my time doing my college work at home mainly. and this means that im always free. and hes not free very often. we decided that whats best is that we book time together and we arrange something to do. maybe plan meeting up once or twice a week to give u a break from eachother so that you have more to talk about.dont be scared to interrupt the telly to say something or do something.my boyfriend is tired because works hard and he feels relaxed enough around me to not have to put on a front.if hes tired and wants to flop on the sofa rather than go out with you dont feel rejected, be flattered that he feels so comfortable with you.im finiding this hard as his mates are all huge football fans and i dont know anything about football!but im trying to get on with his mates as much as possible so that he feels comfortable including me in his life rather than having to create a seperate life with you. i hope this helps!i would love to get in contact with you but i have no idea how to do that!just remeber that he makes time for you and does this even though he knows that you are just going to watch telly.and this must show you how much he cares about you and wants to be with you. i know that my boyfriend loves me and i love him so so much he is so wonderful.just talk it through with him so pick out every tiny tiny problem and try and work out how to fix each one.even just doing this will bring you closer.
A reader, Bridget, writes (11 March 2005): Instead of watching TV, mess around with him sexually. He'll stop watching immediately. He isn't paying attention to you because he can have you anytime he wants. Go out with your girlfriends when they invite you. Once he sees you have a life (besides him), he'll be more interested in being with you. OR when you're out with your girlfriends, maybe you'll find another boy that will treat you better. But lighten up and make sure the time you do spend together is quality.
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