A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was a asswipe and fell for playing that stupid "how to get and keep a girl" tactic and it ended up backfiring right in my face and now the love of my life is moving out of state with another manPlease tell me how I can stop it in the next two months that's when I heard she's moving. I played rough and tough like I didn't love her but she chased me like the online advice said she would. The meaner I was to her the more she chased me so I did crude ball stuff to her like make her believe i was having sex with a girl that I was going to ask to marry that I loved for 6 years. I feel like the biggest d*ck. Two of my coworkers caught me crying in my car at lunch because I can't believe i am the reason i might have lost her for good. She's the sweetest girl I know. I don't know where to start.I need help to get the love of my life back. I'm flaming in jealousy over the other guy. Please please please tell me how I can correct this all. I love her with all my life. Pls help thx
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male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 BTW you have my respect for getting there in the first place. Don't worry, if you got so far you are can keep going. You seem to have done well. Don't be too hard on yourself. The outcome cannot be guaranteed, she's a free person after all.
A
male
reader, rolfen +, writes (17 December 2010):
These techniques you are talking about are made to get a girl to your bed, not to build a relationship, I think. It's more short term. A tactic is by definition something that works short term for a precise goal - in this case to get her interest, I think. A relationship would be more of an "agreement" or a state. Also beware of speed dating books, lots of them will destroy your self esteem by telling you that you can never get a girl without using these techniques. To have self esteem is very important for the relationship.
Also - note that the first part of "girlfriend" is "friend".
I think I've said enough - hope it'll help! Don't despair!! Good luck.
(BTW stop blaming yourself - does the girl of your dream have a good heart or what? Is she strong and can she take a mistake??)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): :(
I am puzzled by your past actions... if you loved her, how could you feign acting cruel and enjoy her despair? Do you feel any remorse for causing her pain?
Please contact her in person, so she must respond, and tell her your feelings. If you are sorry, tell her. If you don't feel at fault as you were only attempting unusual tactics to gain a surer footing in your relationship, please tell her you are sorry for how she felt... and explain all your past motives... just be wholly honest and let her know what you want now and that you'll be putting all past behind you, if she will, too. Ask for her to give it another chance. It sounds like she loved you in return as your roughness worked as she fell completely for it, chasing you. If you show her a changed man (not changed, precisely... just matured, wise-ned up... more considerate and caring) who's prepared to treat her nothing but Right, and outshine this other guy, who may just as well be a rebound (makes sense... diving in seriously and moving away after a heartbreak).
Tell her you love her! Say it like you said to us!
Tante Victoire
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