A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi!!i have a botfriend but i ws not so sure if he took things with me seriously so i kinda decided to check things out myself. so i made a fake id and added him as another girl.And i asked him out on that id. He told me(thinking i was the other girl) That he needed time to think.I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he kept saying no.It hurt me a lot coz i know im his gf and he kept saying no. What do i do now?. Does he really love me?He says he loves me and tells all my friendz that he does but how could he do this?whats going on? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (8 September 2008):
 Im going to be harsh here but its needed.
Whats the point of this relationship, it seems like your both a bunch of little kids. Mostly ou for what you did, you entrapped him, you didnt trust him and you went out of your way to "see if you can trust him" you can say its because of this all you want. But to me it seems like you have low self esteem and want to sabotage your own relationship, because of your own lack of self esteem. Keep on playing these kid games and what will you have left?
As for your bf well basically hes a pig. Leave him.
A
female
reader, SugarCookie  +, writes (7 September 2008):
Ok I looked at the first persons profile and what he said to you he said to someone else so I think he might have his own issues so disreguard what he said.
the second poster has a very good point so i'll address the after if it happens. If he still says he doesn't have a girlfriend then he isn't worth your time. It does sound like he isn't a cheater he didn't say yes he said he needed time which more than likely ment time to see if he is going to break up with you.
Just take it as it comes. I hope everything works out for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): You obviously don't trust him by doing what you did. Why has he got an account/ profile with a - presumably - online dating agency? So why are you still with him? You don't trust him, he's online dating? I think you have all your answers - end it!
Good luck.
gabosutton - I LIKE you! You are such a delver into what makes people tick - fantastic answer man!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): I think the previous poster was a bit harsh. Calling someone insecure and jealous probably doesn't help.
Let's not discuss what you have done, the past is the past and you already know what you know. So let's adress the situation. You're bf is probably saying he doesn't have a gf because he's probably not sure if you and him will work out, so he may be trying to keep his options open. If you really want to be with him, try doing more things together like a bf and gf, and not just like friends. Try to build up the relationship and let him know that you care about him. See how it turns out. And if he is still saying he doesn't have a gf (to other people) AFTER he has told you he loves you back, then that's a bigger problem!
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A
male
reader, gabosutton +, writes (7 September 2008):
 It its fair cause you fake with information you know its something he is going to buy from your fake girl.
You are just hurting yourself, besides you low self-Esteem and jealousy. Stop it!!
Low self-esteem meets the criteria for an illness or disease because you act or feel the following:
Insecurity about who you are and lack of belief in yourself
Inability to open yourself to others and inability to trust others
Inability to make decisions because of confusion and fear of making a mistake or of disappointing others
Anxiety in the face of the need to change and the fear of change
Problems in establishing intimacy with others and problems in interpersonal relationships
Lack of objectivity and openness to a variety of alternatives in decision making, and a tendency to resort to "black and white'' judgments
Problems in handling anger, either by denying its impact on one's life or by not being able to control it, thereby experiencing chronic hostility
Chronically affected by the need for approval and acceptance by others; affected by the fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, and disapproval
Excessive use of masks to hide true feelings; the use of exaggeration and lies in order to avoid conflict or disagreements
Inability to take direction from or to be controlled by others, rather to seek to control self and manage or direct others
Chronic seeking out of others for whom one can feel responsible
Inability to feel like one has done "good enough'' on the job or at home; a tendency to be a workaholic
Inability to say one deserves "good things'' in one's life; a tendency to always place self last
Chronic sense of depression, discomfort, or inadequacy
Chronic sense of feeling different from others; keeping away and isolating oneself from others
Inability to reward oneself for one's own goodness and accomplishments
Addiction to novelty, challenge, differences, risks, thrills
Addictive or compulsive behavior. e.g., alcoholism, chemical dependency, food, gambling, sex, excitement, money, shopping, smoking
Being overly serious, unable to see humor in one's plight as a human being
An overriding sense of guilt and inadequacy
Inability to forgive and to forget past harms and hurts from others
Meeting others with similar problems and matching up with them in relationships
Inability to let go of problems, such as fear, guilt, anger, or other negative aspects in one's life
Inability to tune into one's own feelings, but usually able to identify and to be sensitive to the feelings of others
Inability to face one's problems and the need to change, a tendency to use denial
Overreacting to things and acting impulsively, often getting oneself into problem situations which need lots of work to straighten out
Can be meticulous, fastidious, over demanding, and perfectionistic; or can be slovenly, lackadaisical, and irresponsible
Can become frustrated when realizing the magnitude of problems and the immensity of effort required to solve them
Often looks quite successful, happy, contents, healthy, and together to others; it comes as a shock to self and others that one actually has a problem and needs help
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