A
female
age
30-35,
*low
writes:One more question before I go. There is a girl who texts my boyfriend relentlessly. She's my age or younger and is a compulsive flirt. I also know of her because she coerced my friend's ex-boyfriend to run away with her while he was still dating my friend. Now, I'm not paranoid by any means and I know that my boyfriend isn't responding to the texts because he used to show them to me before deleting them (I eventually told him to stop because I trusted him and there was no point in him making such a gesture). But she's still texting and she's still fishing for flirtation.How can I confront this girl and let her know that she needs to back off without making my boyfriend feel as if I don't trust him?I trust him! I just don't trust her. Thanks!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 December 2012):
 if you truly trusted him, she would not even be a speck of a bother to you.
and it's up to him to tell her to back off not you.
if he totally ignores her and she continues then he can block her number.
if he's not told her to back off that he's in a relationship and not interested then he's letting her get away with it...
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 December 2012):
 The "issue" here is with YOUR BOYFRIEND... NOT with this flirty-girl.....
It is incumbent upon HIM to say to HER: "Say, cute, flirty thing.... DON'T continue to send texts to my phone..."
ONLY when/once he does THAT will this matter truly be "closed."
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 December 2012):
 Text her "bacxk off b&¤%"?
Or, just continue to ignore her? Its your boyfriend she is harassing, not you, so maybe he is the one who needs to put his foot down if he wants her to stop.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2012): I wouldn't trust him either OP. Why hasn't he stopped her sending these messages? Very easy to do you know. "Stop sending me messages, thanks" if that doesn't work "Do not fucking send me another message is that clear? I'll block your number if you do."
I wouldn't trust him at all. He must like these text messages or he would have stopped her sending them.
Get him to stop her sending them, this is not up to you to do. OP if your boyfriend isn't able to stop unwanted attention then you're in big trouble with him. If he can't even stop a text message what will happen if she ever came onto him at a party or something while he's drunk. I can't see how he'd be able to say no.
Get him to stop her sending them, if he can't then I'd seriously question his ability to be able to fend off interest from other girls.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (11 December 2012):
 It is not up to you to sort this matter out - your BF should step up to the plate and tell this girl [in your presence] to get lost.
He should cut all contact with her - even going as far as changing his mobile number.
If he is not willing to do this - well then there is your answer - he is enjoying and possibly encouraging the behaviour.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (11 December 2012):
 Ask him to reply to the texts saying that he has a girlfriend and is happy, and ask her to stop sending messages to him. May take a few attempts, but aslong as you guys work on it together, he'll know that you trust him. Don't go behind his back and speak to this girl yourself, as it may come across that you don't trust him.
Alternatively, he can change his number :)
All the best, let us know what happens!
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