A
female
age
30-35,
*erty1126
writes:Wow, so all day I have been going through everyones columns and reading the Q and A's about this topic and I have found some really good advice, but I figured it would be helpful to just get my story out there.Well to start out with I'm 15, almost 16. I am definitely head over heels in love with my ex-science teacher. I am a sophomore this year, and I had him as my teacher last year. I have always found it helpful to..'befriend'.. my teachers because it helps me pay attention and to learn. Last year, towards the end of the year I realized that I was crushing on him.. but I had control of it, of course I thought about him all the time, but it wasn't overly obsessive. He is 14 years older than, and he had a wife. The fact that he had a wife kept me under complete control, I was realistic, I knew nothing would ever happen. We would still joke around though, and I bought him this really cool gift for the end of the year and he loved it.. but I dared not express my love for him... Well the whole year we had always joked around with each other.. and innocently hug and what not. Well over the summer he got a divorce.. (yay for me) This year when I first saw him he hugged me, and acted really surprised to see me. He's the academic team coach so I joined.. for other reasons but mainly to spend more time with him. I sometimes catch his glance lingering over me, and sometime we like.. connect and its amazing. We can share ANYTHING with each other, and I truly do love him. He even sits by whenever he can, and we have inside jokes. Then when he looks at me.. idk.. its like he truly cares. I have never felt this strongly about anyone ever before.. and I have had my fair share of boyfriends my age.. I even find myself making excuses to go by his room or down his hallways just hoping I'll see him, and I even do it when I KNOW he's not there! I know most of you will say just to forget about him and foucs on my studies.. and I agree I care about him enough to not endanger his career, but I would totally wait till I was 18 for him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): well, believe me. i've been there. my friend has been there. it's wrecked our lives. period.
don't you go there either. you read stories from people who have been involved with a teacher, its not fun. its lying, guilt, secrecy, hiding from your friends, a f**ked up power balance. and thats even if your relationship is good. i was with mine for 3 years. where is he now? married with a child, 400 miles away. my friend was on the recieving end of being found out, they suggested she "didn't return to school" and it screwed up her gcses and she had to go to a college away from her friends. plus we had the added "fun" of everybody knowing we fancied our teachers. don't go there, i'm serious. its not worth it and its not normal. i'm now the age my teacher was when he went out with me. would i start a relationship with a 16 year old boy? certainly not...
A
female
reader, lilred112 +, writes (14 October 2008):
 ok. i had this experience before, it wasn't this deep, it ended up fading and i just look up to him as an example of what i want in guys.. but in your case it seems serious, but try this 1, get to know some more guys around school or whatever, they dont have to be your age they can be a little older. Date them and see if your attraction go away. if not, i say hit the nail on the head nothing slaps you back into reality like being rejected by someone your crushing on or find out that they dont feel the same. but if it all goes well and your willing to wait until you're 18 and he agrees! i say go for it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): Save yourself alot of trouble, sweetie. Don't pursue this. It can only lead to trouble.I know you think you are in love, but its just infatuation. You're young and innocent, and he's now single and looking for some action. Don't go there. Besides, students/teachers aren't allowed to date, and believe me, you won't be able to hide it, someone will find out. For your own sake, let it go, find a guy closer to your own age ok? Been there, done that, and didn't turn out well. Trust me on this one.
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