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anonymous
writes: My worst nightmare has happened. My ex girlfriend has started seeing of my mates. I'm really gutted that he's agreed to start seeing her, and although I want to look as if I'm not bothered, I'm really devistated inside.Although I'm not a teenager, she's the first woman I've ever fallen for and I was hoplessly devoted to her. She didn't feel the same way as me, and I was okay with this but she decided we couldn't continue - I thought that the break-up would be okay, but I've taken it badly - it's been over two months now and I still can't get over her. Now she's doing this and not behind my back (which I probably could take easier) but in front of me and I've never felt so humiliated in my life.I never cheated on her or argued with her, I just tried treat her right and been honest - I feel that I've done something wrong even though friends have told me that i haven't.What do I do? I don't want to make the same mistakes again - What's 'the right way' to treat women? Am I better off alone?
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reader, HappyTimeHarry +, writes (22 May 2005):
I didn't think it was possible to ever treat a woman with too much love and devotion either, but I learned the hard way. Your situation sounds difficult, and I can't give you any advice you haven't already heard on dealing with pain. But if you treat anyone with too much kindness, and a slavish devotion, they will lose respect for you even as they bask in your worship. With your next gf, whoever she is, draw a mental line for yourself for how much you will do for her. It shouldn't be much more than how kind she will be to you, and if she is acting like your ex, then history is repeating itself. Don't let that happen, my friend. Don't fall on your knees on the altar of anyone. If she doesn't love you, or understand you, or respect you, what's the point?
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