A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a serious problem... Me and a guy from 10 years ago found each other on facebook.. We reconneted... talk, I ask him if he had a girlfriend he said "NO" talked all kinds of craped about his ex.. Well we went out and hung out all weekend, had sex.. Did everything u can imagine for 2 weeks straight. well come to find he did have a girlfriend the entire time...she started emailing me and wanted to know everything.. I wasnt going to tell her we had sex but she came on and on untill 2am when I finally told her to call me, I was tired of dealing with guilt and hurt for her.. I told her everything. She and I have been talking and she wants to know all details of what happened between us...I was honest and told her everything. Now he hates me. I have been called every name in the book plus more, and I tryed apologizing and everything and all he says is i shouldnt have said antyhing and left it alone, And to loose his #.. He was a good friend and I dont know if he will ever talk to me agian... It is driving me nuts what should i do??? What can I say to him to make it better.. She doesnt wanna be with him either.. I dont know waht to do .. I cant sleep. I need help with answers...
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female
reader, keepin it real 2013 +, writes (24 September 2013):
Iam in the same situation with a guy friend of mine. He met me and said he was single and I come to find out the same thing about him-that he has a girlfriend. I even had a threesome with them and once we got to know eachother she and I had conversations and I told her about us and how long we had been seeing eachother. Come to find out he was seeing me during his relationship with her. She told him about our convo and now he said I have ruined our friendship and he don't trust me anymore. But they are still together. But as for you I feel like he betrayed both of you and you don't owe the scumbag any apologies. He should have been straight up in the beginning and maybe none of this would have ever happened. Get you some rest and forget about him. He obviously needs some help not you. It's ok don't even think of him as a lost.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): One good thing has come from this: his gf now knows the cheater he is. At least she is no longer clueless to his cheating ways.
So good thing she dumped him.
I have question for you though: do you make ut a habit of just meeting men and having sex with them? You destroyed a person (his gf). You are equally to blame. You should have done your homework or dug deeper. I am assuming no protection was used? Or what? You shouldn't be concerned with this man, you both destroyed an innocent woman's life.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (21 August 2010):
 Why do you care if he never speaks to you again? He lied to you and cheated on her. He acts like this is all YOUR fault because he's a punk ass and would have continued playing both of you if the truth hadn't come out.
Stop apologizing to him and trying to make things better, go to sleep, and lose his number.
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A
female
reader, xXJDXx  +, writes (21 August 2010):
He betrayed your trust and his gfs trust, why are you feeling guilty exactly?? He lied to you both in order to manipulate the situation for his own dirty advantage. That's NOT a friend or someone you should be sorry for, he made his own bed do rightfully the lying swine needs to sleep in it. Forget him huni :)
Take care, JD.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): I don't think there is anything you can say to make things better, and more to the point, I don't think you NEED to. When you got together with this guy, you thought he was single and available. He lied to you, and also to his girlfriend. The fact that you told his girlfriend what happened...well, obviously he is not going to be happy about that, because she now wants nothing to do with him. He has messed up, and he knows it. But he is trying to blame you, when this situation is of his own creation.
I think it is always difficult to know whether to be honest with someone about what happened between you and their partner, or whether to say nothing. Normally I would say to stay out of it and don't say anything. But since you are very much involved in the situation, I can understand why you would want to be upfront with this girl and tell her what happened. Quite frankly, I think she deserved to know the truth, and to know the kind of boyfriend she has/had. He was stringing her along, and it may actually be good that she now knows.
I personally think it would be best to stay away from this guy. You say he was a good friend, but what kind of good friend lies to you, puts you in an awkward situation, and then blames you for his own mistakes? I think that by being involved with him, more messy situations will arise. I know this must be really difficult for you right now, but I honestly don't think you are to blame here for anything. You are not the one who should be apologising, HE is, to both you and the other girl. He is just trying to put the blame onto somebody else - you. Don't let him.
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A
female
reader, r dadi  +, writes (21 August 2010):
i think this guy has been messing around with you. i know you love him but he was not honest to you and ofcourse the other girl. what i suggest is you become friends with rhe other girl and watch out for guys for him. if he does accept your apology just be friends and nothing more.
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