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male
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*NLY_A_FRIEND
writes: I am 29 years old. I have a very close female friend that i have sat back and watch go through one terrible relationship after another. I have always wanted to ask her out but was afraid of what might happen. Well one day i told here how i felt about her and that i would love to pursue more with our friendship. She told me that she need some time to think about it. The next time i saw her, she was very distant and finally told me that she wanted to just be friend and that we should just forget about what i had said and pretend it had never happened. I asked if we would at least talk to which i was told that she never wanted to talk about it again. Now i dont know what to do. I cant just forget how i feel just like that and really wonder how strong our friendship really is if she wont even give me the ability to explain myself. Did i completely screw up this friendship. Is there anything i can do now? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eriella +, writes (28 November 2006):
I was intrigued by your question. Only oddly enough...i myself have been in this same position before. I met a guy in junior high...became very attracted to him...told him how i felt...and he seemed to have blown me off...never answered me. So i asked again...and got a similar response. I just want to be friends and you're creeping me out. Needless to say he was a jock and i wasn't exactly the most popular girl in school.
No, you can't forget how you feel but it can be put on a back burner. Yes, every once in a while you are still going to think of her and wish things turned out differently but never again will you talk about your feelings for her with her. It all stays pinned up inside in the very pit of your heart and soul. Everytime you see her another dagger will dig into your heart causing a little pain. But talking with her about what 'just friends' talk about will ease that. you will begin to get used to the pain and just move on.
Find someone else that you might be interested in and go for it. No, it won't be the same...nothing will ever feel quite like how you feel about her...but that's just the way it has to be.
I hope this helps a little. If you need anything at all...I'm here.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): My guy friend told me he wanted more than just a friendship once and it made me view him completely differently. I just didn't feel like that towards him and I didn't want to be more. Once I knew he liked me, I started seeing everything he did as "oh he just did that because he likes me" and it was hard to adjust to that. I think you could salvage your friendship if you make it like "oh im over it, im not into you". Maybe by dating someone else or something like that. It might make her more comfortable talking to you if she knows you have someone else and aren't interested in her and you can get your friendship back.
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