A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm too lost now after what happened recently...I've been crushing on this girl for 6 years now, since I was 13 years old, freshmen in high school. She's the same age as I was, she is the most intelligent, quietest, absolutely beautiful girl I've EVER seen, she's also the sweetest girl I know. Every day I cannot stop thinking about her, and how I would do nothing but hold her in my arms, and spend each and every moment with her. That was my dream. Throughout the years, I've tried to make it obvious to let her know I appreciate her, and that I liked her (ie. notes, small Christmas gifts), she eventually found out who I was and never gave me a definite answer as to whether the feelings were reciprocated. I was also as shy as her, which made things more difficult than they needed to be.3 days ago. Nothing was the same after that.I was leaving community college around 9:30 p.m. last night after I just had my evening Philosophy class. And as I was walking out to my car, there she was. Just standing there by the parking lot, so elegant and perfect. Those wide, open eyes that resemble a baby kittens: curious and innocent looking. The most creamy-coloured, smooth face I've ever seen on a girl; the most delicate hands; a perfect slender build. I was shocked that she was all alone right there.I asked her if she needed a ride (that marked my first time that I actually was able to have a conversation with her), she shook her head. And, I just wanted to tell her more, much much more.I nearly walked away when I stopped myself, and told myself that I probably wouldn't get another opportunity like this again. We were completely alone, out in the night.I told her everything. From how I felt when I first saw her, how I could NEVER get her off my mind, regardless of what I try to do. How I think she's the most graceful, beautiful girl in this life; how no one's ever given me this feeling before. I was crushing on this girl, but I feel as if I'm in love now. And I don't know if that is a good thing or not. I hardly know anything about her: her likes/dislikes, anything on a deeper level. She's just so quiet.After all that's been done. I nearly had tears coming out of my eyes. And all she was doing was staring at me with those glassy, nearly-tearful eyes. She then leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss on the lips, and simply said "Please take care" before she had to get in the car that had been waiting for her in the horizon.I was just so confused about what had happened that I stayed at that same spot for another hour or two, staring at the ground. Speechless. I couldn't tell you what I was thinking of. Everything just felt non-existent.I mean, I'm just...happy at the time, but I also want to cry and cry my eyes out every minute. Usually out of sadness.My parents think I'm depressed, they recommended I go see counseling. I feel like there's something wrong with me, but at the same time, I just don't feel anything at all.Right now, I just don't know what to do. I haven't been able to see her since, no one I know hasn't seen her either.I never felt more lost until that night.Was all this just from the shock of my confession?If anyone has advice or anything of the sort. That'd be appreciated. (I'm also a guy, by the way. It's just my name that confuses people)
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christmas, crush, depressed, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (24 April 2009):
You can't keep her locked up just because other guys are going to look at her.
Accept your girl is beautiful and SHE'S WITH YOU!!!
Enjoy the attention and put your arm around her, they are paying you a compliment after all.
Glad it went well. Keep trying to get over those nerves and look out for hints about being cold (put your arms round me) and just moments where she looks up at you (kiss me!)
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate:
The date went well, at least that's what I've been seeing.
It really looked as if she had a fun time; luckily the fair was in town during the weekend and we went to spend a day there. Apparently she hates fast rides -_- . We rode on the ferris wheel around 10 p.m. Saturday night; on our way to the top, I decided to just loop my pinkie around hers and she didn't really pull back, but I didn't really want to grab her hand. Until she was ready, I'll respect her decision. We ended up staying there until midnight or so. Then we just went to the park to take a stroll. She kissed me twice during the entire date, I only kissed her once, but it was hard trying to even initiate a kiss.
Date ended around 1:30 or so, and I got flamed by my parentals because of that. Nevertheless, I could not fall asleep that night, so I literally stayed up all night doing miscallenous stuff. We agreed to go out on second date soon.
Only thing I disliked about the date was the attention she was probably getting. We're both hispanic, but she has this sort of European look to her that made me nervous because of what the other guys might try to do.
Overall, I think it went fantastic. I'm just nervous again for the next date because of the aformentioned attention problem she was receiving. I can't say if we're officially in a relationship now, and if she's probably not ready for that, I'll respect that choice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Congrats man..that's really great. I was apparently wrong about the kiss being a bad thing. But I'm glad I was.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 April 2009):
I'm really happy for you hun!
I thought it was a good sign that she kissed you but I didn't want to get your hopes up as I wasn't sure what kind of kiss it was.
And well done on making sure she knows that it's a no pressure date. I think you are going to have a great time!
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Congrats! That's a great outcome -- so far.
Now for goodness sake, don't scare her off! Keep in mind that while you've been thinking about her for years, it's all new to her. Take it easy and have fun. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI gave her, and myself, a few days now. She came up to me today while I was heading home and asked me out on a date. I apologized to her many times about my outburst of feelings, about creeping her out, about not talking to her sooner. She simply said that she's never had anyone tell her upfront how much she was admired, and also said that that was the reason why she kissed me that night: She felt overwhelmed by my act, but was happy that someone out there liked her. But we agreed to go out on date just to try and get to know one another, no pressure there hopefully.
She gave me another quick kiss on the lips and whispered "Thank you", just like that night.
Right now, I'm just trying not to be too overjoyed about our date this weekend. I just want to let her know how much I admire and appreciate her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Wow...Yeah you overwhelmed her buddy. I applaud you your courage in just pouring your heart out like that, I really do. It takes some serious cajones to just do that. But you are too wrapped up in how you feel and not enough on how SHE felt. I mean, you just admitted that that was your first convo with her ever? Your first convo with her ever should be wayyyy more low key than that. Like, "You want to grab something at Steak and Shake?", or.. "So what classes do you take?"I think that she was very overwhelmed. The kiss, im not sure I agree with. It obviously exploded your mind.My first crush way back when was very similar. but she was more considerate. She saw I was infatuated with her just by how I looked at her and I told her I wanted very much so to kiss her, and she said gently "It would be too much for you" And at that point, she was probably right.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (10 April 2009):
Having someone poor their heart out to you is a bit scary to be honest.
I mean when someone says "I love you!" there is no way you can respond to that unless you are saying "I love you too!"
I know you wanted to sing it all to the skies about how amazing she was but I think you probably drowned the poor girl with your feelings.
Now she knows if she even so much as goes and sees a film with you then deep down you will be planning the wedding and naming the kids, when all she wants to do is have a pressure free date to get to know you.
Give her a day to take it in and then just go up to her and ask her if you could take her out some time. If she says no then don't give up, just get to know her a bit more as a friend and then try again.
If she still says no then yes you will be broken hearted but this is why you ask a girl out early on rather than letting your feelings get so uncontrollable.
Good Luck!! xx
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