A
male
age
36-40,
*piderMan120988
writes:I am a 21 year old guy (22 soon) and I was friends with this girl who was 16. You can read all about how we met here from another relationship forum:"All righty, I am 21 year old guy who is friends with a 16 year old girl. I met her at the Harry Potter 6 premiere in NYC last year. No, I was not there to pick up underage girls, I was with a female friend (who is in college like me) because we wanted to see the cast, well I was just there to see Emma Watson. =D Anyway, so I spoke to a bunch of random people to past the time, including the 16 year old girl but at the time I didn't know that (though I figured she was in high school). In any case, she found me through YouTube cause I posted video of the premiere and then we just became friends like that. The thing is I know a lot of people think its inappropriate because 9 times out of 10, the guy is just some lowlife looking to get in her pants. It's true a lot of guys are like that(the news has stories like that all the time) but I'm not and I'm not just saying that. Maybe I should put down my hobbies so you guys get some sense of my character/personality. I go to college (going for degree for computer engineering) and I work (though its work study, I'm having trouble finding employment through usual means and the ones that are hiring are for menial tasks like McDonalds). I am also an amateur film critic and I review a lot of films, mainstream or otherwise. In any case, I took her to the Metropolitan Museum of Art a few months ago and I'm thinking of taking her to the Museum of Modern Art sometime this week. The problem is that I think I may have feelings for her and it just seems weird! I think it's because I relate to her more because we both like comics and other pop culture stuff and my older female friends don't care for that (they would rather go shopping). She says she likes hanging out with me but I'm not entirely sure how to read that and we've been planning this for awhile now. Still, even if I do have feelings for her, I will not be acting on them, I don't think I'll be able to deal with the constant criticism since it's not socially acceptable, though one of my college friends says otherwise but she's one of those rare happy people. Nowadays, everyone is more cynical. I don't know, what do you guys think? Am I going nuts?"Anyway, I had developed really strong feelings for her and I couldn't hold it in any longer so I spilled my guts. I posed as an anonymous user on her Form-spring and asked the following questions.Question: This is for a friend of mine and he need's a female's opinion. He has feelings for a girl who he's friends with. Should he tell her or keep it to himself?Answer: I HOPE THAT FEMALE ISN'T ME ._.Well, I'm pretty blunt about these things so I'm really sorry if I sound mean. I say tell her! It takes a lot of courage to go up to someone and say that you like her. If you keep it to yourself, you'll never know what will happen and she probably won't know that a guy likes her. And if the worst happens, life goes on and it'll eventually be forgotten.And it depends on the girl too, but I'm sure she's a nice lady if you find her appealing. x)Uh yeahh that felt weird *goes back watching violent martial arts*Question: Thanks for answering my question! I have a follow-up. Hypothetically speaking, let's say the girl was you. How would you react? Would your answer still stand or would you rather he keep it to himself for fear of jeopardizing your friendship with him?Answer: Um god forbid I would ever end up in this type of situation because I really don't know how I would react. Especially if it's a guy friend that would be too awkward. D: But it depends on the dude. I'm a sucker for awkward situations and I don't like to think myself in it.Sorry, I know my answer is really lame. But trust me, plenty of girls out there don't think like me and it's better to just tell her anyway or else your feelings will just be stuck inside of you driving you nuts. And if you lose the friendship...it's ok. You have to expect situations are gonna come out of if when you let the cat of the bag (cheesy, I know).I wanted to see if it was a good idea to tell her and since she was so blunt about it I did. Now everything is ruined and she said I traumatized her and made her anxiety worse. I did this through AIM because I couldn't get her to meet me as she has a lot of homework. I tried to contact her but now she's annoyed and just wants to forget about it and blocked me. I even cried over this! I know, I'm even less of a man that I was before. I honestly thought she liked me but I read it all wrong. I wrote her a letter explaining that I wasn't trying to take advantage of her and that my feelings were genuine but she never replied back. So now I have no contact with her and I'm just trying to forget by playing video games non-stop, which is only partially working and makes me very tired. What should I do, if there's anything I can do even? My friends were very adamant that I move on and that she's not worth it cause she's just a confused teen who knows nothing but I don't want to lose another friendship. I need a second opinion on this.
View related questions:
crush, move on, video games, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 your friends are right you need to move on you are an adult here and she is still in her teens and she is still growing up and finding herself, you are both at different stages of life you need to forget about her and move on sorry.
A
male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (7 November 2010):
 There are many, many, reasons to drop this pursuit immediately.
Anytime a girl blocks you, or avoids you, after sharing your feelings with her: the friendship is over. Continuing to pursue, by AIM, letter, calls, text, drive-by: is harassment. It's disrespectful, and it will only lead to intense frustration.
If a girl/women tells you "you traumatized me and made my anxiety worse," you have no better choice than to let go. It means you are acting in a way that reminds her of past problematic guys.
I highly recommend you focus your attention on a new girl (age 21 or older) as soon as possible. It will distract you from this crush, and possibly offer you a more stable relationship if it actually works out.
...............................
|
