A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so i am really confused at the minute and im hoping for a little advice. I have been friends with this guy for a number of years now but in the past two or three we have gotten a lot closer. I have liked him as more than a friend for even longer but the timing has never been right, we have both had partners in this time, and i didnt want to risk our friendship. I recently split up from a long term relationship and this guy was really there for me an it came out that he liked me too but i told him i didnt want to rush straight into another relationship an risk it being a rebound thing. he has a girlfriend and when i asked about her he said things can change. Things carried on as normal for a couple of months but with both of us flirting a lot then a group of us went away for the week (his girlfriend wasnt there). during the week in a game of truth or dare we had to kiss and it felt amazing i told him i would like to give it a go an see what happens. he basically told me he was going to stay with his gf. I can understand this although i am confused by it all as he still flirts with me an there is obviously attraction there. My problem stems from last friday on a night out. there ended up being four of us out him and his girlfriend and me and one of our friends who we havent seen in a long time. Me and this other guy were sort of flirting a bit and ended up kissing. My friend got into this huge mood and wouldnt talk to us all and walked off then text me later to tell me he cant believe he fell for my i really like you bit when its clear im in to whoever is into me. That really hurt and im not sure what it is he wants from me. he cant expect me to sit there an watch him an his girlfriend until or in case they break up! not sure what to do now as he hasnt spoken to me since.Any help would be appreciated!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): Actually, its straight forward - he really likes you but won't end his current relationship BUT he is very jealous if you appear attracted to someone else. I would be blunt with him. You are a free agent. You have told him you are attracted to him, but as he has a girlfriend you are free to pursue other relationships. He can't have it both ways. Whatever you do don't be tempted to be his girlfriend-in-waiting. Get on with your own life, maybe he will be tempted to leave his gf for you, maybe not. Just enjoy flirtations with other guys, its your right.
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