A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had an amazing weekend with a guy that I've liked for a while. I finally got the courage to admit to him that I liked him, and after chatting about the situation he kissed me. I was over the moon and thought that eventually it might turn into something.I hadn't heard anything from him for four days so I needed to know what was going on and he told me that due to his last serious relationship (his ex gf cheated on him) he doesn't want to get into anything serious for goodness knows how long because he's overly cautious.I want to back off and support what he's said (which I have done so far) but I also want him to know that if I ever had a chance with him that I would never hurt him. Should I maybe tell him that I would never do that.. even though he'd just be taking my word for it, or let it go and just be a friend and wait to see if he might maybe change his mind?Thanks for any answers.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008): Just be a friend. He needs time to get over the last person.
A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (14 November 2008):
 Hi, I agree with Sharraie. This potential relationship depends on him. You cannot carry the whole thing on your side. He is going to have to come to a point of trusting you. When that would happen, who knows? So you would have
to decide if you can hang on, by just being a stand-by friend, waiting to see what he will decide. Life is short, let him get himself together and build trust in people, and repair his bruised ego. There are other people around, who are interesting and fun to know and be with. You could promise him the moon, but things change, people change, he could disappoint you, instead of the reverse. My suggestion would be to play it by ear, but don't invest too much time,
wishing and hoping for him to be ready to have a relationship, it's too much of a weight to carry, to be responsible for his happiness. Good luck to you, but when he is ready, he will find you, he kissed you, let time take care of it. Stay in touch.
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A
female
reader, sharraie +, writes (14 November 2008):
hi, tricky situation this, sounds like you really like this chap. If he has been hurt, then he will be on guard.. If he kissed you, he likes you, he is just a little scared of getting hurt again. You also have to think about yourself, and if you really like him, decide if he is worth the time and effort which you will need to help him. You could just try being a friend, but would that hurt you in the long run. To be fair, you need to know if there is a chance for you and him, and only he has the answer to that.
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