A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been happily married for 16 years. Well a few months ago a friend's husband sent me a text message offering an indecent proposal. I was immediately up front with my husband but since he has treated me on occasions as if I had actually been unfaithful. I am confused as I did what I thought was the right thing by telling him, but now I am not so sure. What; if anything; can I do to regain his trust that should never have been lost in the first place?
View related questions:
friend's husband, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2014): This is where you need to have a frank talk with him, and remind him that you were honest and up-front with him. If someone sends a married-woman an indecent proposal; and it's coming from a person amongst your regular circle of friends, your spouse should know about it. What if he found the message before you did?!!!
Unfortunately, we can't control what people say, think, or do.
Sometimes with people, you're damned if you do; and damned if you don't. You were straightforward, and he treats you like he can't trust you. That's his way of keeping you on notice; and forcing you to walk on eggshells to pander to his insecurities. It's also passive-aggressive manipulation.
Now you know he's too immature to handle the truth. If he's too suspicious, remember this: "point one finger, three point back!" A good talk about his feelings and your honesty with him deserves to be addressed.
Tell him you did it to justify and reinforce his trust. Not to make him suspicious and jealous. That will make you hesitant to trust him, or to be honest to the man you made vows to. He's distrusting the wrong person. What about the assh*le that made a blatant pass at you?
Sometimes it just takes a little time to digest, and get over the shock. He never had to face something like this before. You still need to talk about it.
|
