A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:there is this girl that i've known since my college days. today, i discovered that she now has a new boyfriend ( which really came a bit of a shock for me). i never even once thought before that i like her at the that we are attending the same college although i really find her very attractive and needless to say "very charming". after i discovered what i said earlier, this suddenly occured to me "hey! what the hell just happened!". she was going out with some really nice guy back in college. maybe thats why i subconciously told my self that i should never lay a hand on her. then this happened.. i now realized that i really like this girl. i facebook messaged since i dont have her current phone number. me: " are you really not going out with (ex's name) anymore?" girl:"yeah, cause im already fed up with him"me:"why havent i even heard of this? so do you have a new boyfriend(which i already knew the answer to my question)" girl: his name is (boyfriends name), of course i wont tell a soul about what happened.me: damn, you should have said earlier that you became single hahaha.girl: hahaha so youre planning to make a move on me? youre crazy! hahaha.me: i am indeed. i have plans, who doesnt right? haha.girl: youre really crazy! :-) so hows life? do you now have girlfriend?me: my life? its jus so-so, right now im planning on living on the big city so i can "steal you away". hahaha feeling awkward? :-)thats the end of our conversation. ive waited for a reply but still no luck. i saw her posting on something on a common friends page a while ago but she didnt bother writing me a reply.did i ruin our friendship? what do i do on this situation? am i being mindf*cked?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes she did say those while she was still dating her ex. i took it only as a joke, but at the back of my head is telling me half of it is real. i dont know what to say about that anymore. update; last night we continued our conversation. it seemed like im really just getting paranoid over this. i managed to get her new contact number, but based on how she talked to me, i can see that somethings changed, well this is just a hunch but definitely somethings up. i decided not to contact her again about this stuff through facebook and i will try my best to look for a job on her city so i can meet her again personally.. i just cant give this up yet without doing everything i can..if something happens i'll be sure to keep you updated.i thank you deeply for your honest opinion and advice...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes she did say those while she was still dating her ex. i took it only as a joke, but at the back of my head is telling me half of it is real. i dont know what to say about that anymore. update; last night we continued our conversation. it seemed like i'm really just getting paranoid over this. i managed to get her new contact number, but based on how she talked to me, i can see that somethings changed, well this is just a hunch but definitely somethings up. i decided not to contact her again about this stuff through facebook and i will try my best to look for a job on her city so i can meet her again personally.. i just cant give this up yet without doing everything i can..if something happens i'll be sure to keep you updated.i thank you deeply for your honest opinion and advice...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): (Previous anonymous poster)
It seems, from what you're saying, is that she did show some interest before? This flirtation, you could call it, took place before she started dating her new boyfriend and during the time she was with her ex?
If she's saying these things while she was dating her ex, then that is a bit...sneaky of her.
Either way, if she's saying these things while she's single, then fine. But, if she wasn't, then she's playing mind games with you by saying "why didn't you ask me out?". Mind games just get you somewhere then back to nowhere. Move on and try not to look back.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand to the mod... im sorry the say this but the title you just put isnt really exactly the same thing as my problem, it didnt "get nowhere". my problem is she didnt responded quickly. im just confused if shes mindf*cking me..
i apologize for my bad narrative composition skills since this not my native tongue..
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell she just responded... it seems she was just busy with her work. im sorry for not including the detail that when we are in college, her negative comments towards me are for really just for fun, shes just used to calling me names like crazy, demon and stuff like that. the main problem was she never responded quickly. also the question "are you going out with someone?" is occasionally asked by her even since when we are in college... and i remembered just now that she asked me once "of all the people that we dont know, why didnt you asked me out?" she asked me this when we were having a conversation about my type of girl and ive gone out with some girls whom im intrested in. i just answered her vaguely "well youre not really available by the we met arent you right?" then she just smiled.
im sorry if didnt include these details on my question...
still i have this problem... do i have a chance with her... this is the first time for me to be liking someone who is currently going out with someone.. please bear with me.. thank you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): This girl just started going out with someone. She brushed off your first comment rather nicely and you persisted with the one-sided flirtation. You put her in a tight spot - showing interest when she already has someone. I think, because she sees you as a friend, she didn't want to give you a straight "no" or "stop it" and ended up never responding.
You made things very awkward (as you already know), but the friendship isn't ruined. Give her time and give yourself time to get rid of your feelings for her. She really doesn't seem interested.
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