A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:By nature, I have always been a bit on the anti-social side. I'm more comfortable in my own company rather than with most people I know. However, there is this girl that has started to work on my floor over a week ago. I instantly had a physical attraction to her. But like always, I tend to play it cool and show no emotions whatsoever Although, I have caught her staring at me a couple times. There was even a time when we walked right past eachother, I looked back and saw she was doing the same thing, just staring at me while we walked away. I decided to write that one off as nothing. Later on that day, we got a chance to work together. Working face to face with her, I realized just how much of a shy person she was. I'm almost positive that she likes me because of her actions. She would smile at me a lot and stand a bit too close for comfort. She would also stare quietly at me while I did my work. The look in her eyes showed a hint of interest and wariness, almost like she was intimidated by my lack of emotion towards her.I tend not to show affection to anyone because when I opened up, I seem to always get hurt in return. So, my lack of apparent interest has caused many girls to be confused with my intentions. I do like this one and I'm almost sure she feels the same. I just have a feeling that nothing will happen unless I make a move because of how shy she seems. Not to sound like bragging but I usually don't have a problem attracting women. I groom myself and work out alot. It's just that I can't see myself opening up to someone else for a long time. I want to but I just don't trust anyone with my feelings. I see girls that show signs that they're interested but when they realize how cold my personality is, they stay at a distance. How can I find out if this girl likes me without putting myself completely out there?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 November 2012):
 sadly OP for you LIFE is to be LIVED
and LIVING takes RISKS....
if you are not willing to risk yourself why should any woman who you might be interested in risk herself?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): How can I find out what's wrong with my car without opening the bonnet?
You can't; simple as that. OP if you live life through fear you'll get nothing. If you're that scared of getting hurt, build yourself a bunker, stock it up with lots of food and guns and just stay there for the rest of your life because mentally in terms of dating that's what you're doing.
OP if you don't take risks you get no rewards but you just have to negate the risks with intelligence. You don't have to completely open up straight away, no one does that. You just have to get your pacing right that's the key. You may get hurt or you may not, but even getting hurt is worth it to be able to look back on life and say 'yeah, I tried, I saw something I wanted and even though it scared me I fucking went for it anyway".
"How can I find out if this girl likes me without putting myself completely out there?"
Ask her to lunch. Find a nice place near your job, tell her it has great food and would she like to join you for lunch there, and of course if she accepts pay for that lunch. That's it OP, no magical recipe. Just ask her on a lunch date.
I personally wouldn't recommend office romances, but I don't see why you shouldn't in this case.
OP don't live your life through fear, that's not a life, that's a prison. The best things in life are the highest risk that's why they're such an awesome thing to get when you're successful.
Choose fear, or choose to live. To me that's the easiest decision ever to make. I've been through insane devastation when it came to women, a broken man more than once. But fear never bettered me, fear was challenge and to fear I say "fuck you, nice try." 7 years now with my perfect woman, marriage in the cards and all because I live my life relishing risks.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 November 2012):
 She ONLY started to work there little over a week ago, she might be interested but she doesn't know you and visa versa.
Why not chat when you run into her ?
There is no litmus test to see if a girl likes you and if you tend to play it cool and disinterested they will quickly decide YOU are not interested.
So SHOW interest, be polite, chit-chat with her. After a couple of weeks ask her out for coffee or something casual.
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