A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am in love with my former teacher. I am now teaching in her same college and I know her since 15 years. This lasted since the first time we met. I tried to live as if it wasn't true, but now that I am facing the fact that I do not think to anyone else than she, I feel ashamed, and sad. And afraid. I told her I love her, she laughed at it. I don't know what to do. She keeps being supportive but she evitate any direct contact, while she tries to be in touch without any affective involvement. I feel a great esteem, but a deep love also. And I really feel trapped into this unexpressed love and the need to be at her side non matter why and for what. What should I do? Just change everything?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): Thanks.It maybe was unfair to tell her, but really I was tired of feeling this without expression. The most confusing thing happened many years ago, when she asked me if I had problems with boys. We were walking alone in a forest at night. Her voice was soft and smooth, and she was really close. I answered opposing a wall, telling that I liked boys so much that I over-resisted them. Then she stopped asking me. Since then I started wondering why she was so curious about my intimate life. Do you think she is aware of how much attractive she is to me? I told her also because I wanted her to understand why sometimes I just disappeared for long times. They were the worst period, during which I thought of her most than any other. The evil of all this is that I cannot focus on anybody else. And I still feel in love.
A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (22 November 2012):
You're welcome.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): Thanx to all who spend their time replying.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (21 November 2012):
I think it was unfair of you to drop that bomshell in her lap.
My guess is she likes you as a colleague, possibly a friend and/or a former pupil, but nothing more. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings or make things uncomfortable at work. She might even think you're a bit unstable making such a bold declaration like that without any reason to think she felt the same way about you.
Leave this alone. Give her time to wrap her head around it. Behave normally and professionally. In time, when she sees everything is fine, that you're not spiteful or a stalker, she may eventually start to relax around you again.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (20 November 2012):
I don't think she's interested in being with you. Perhaps you should consider focusing on finding someone who WILL want to be with you, instead of wasting your time on your ex-teacher?
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