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female
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*itchanee
writes: I fell in love a guy who have been my friend for 5 years. He is handsome, smart and kind to me. We are close and we are talking and laughing every day. I used to think we are more than close friends but one day he told me that he loves my friend who is in the same class with me. He would like me to ask her if she has a boy-friend and tell her that he loves her. At the present I'm very sad. I'm crying every day. I don't know that I should tell her or not. Please tell me what should I do!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2005): Sorry that this has happened but there is really nothing that can be done. Unrequited Love is very tough to endure. You can tell him your true feelings but it sounds like he just considers you a good friend & you run the risk of rejection and embarrassment. But often the easiest way to figure out what somebody is thinking is to have them tell you. You know yourself and what your heartfelt emotions can handle. Or you can cherish what friendship you do have with him and just squelch your feelings and carry on. Not great choices, I know.
What you need now is understanding and support. Perhaps you can find another good friend or confidante and let them know what has happened. Their love and support will help you get through this tough time. Life has no guaruntees and love is certainly a touchy issue. All we can do is learn from this and move forward from there.
Please keep well-rounded perspective on this situation. Try not to obsess because that is very unhealthy and the people who do love you...want you to remain and happy. Don't be afraid to make yourself vulnerable to them, because that's the only way to let them help you. Talk to them..reach out.
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reader, pops +, writes (19 July 2005):
You obviously haven't told him how you feel about him. Tell him you can't ask the girl if she has a bf, and tell her he loves her, because you love him, and want him to ask you out on dates! YOu may be pleasantly surprised by his response. Guys get it in their heads that they can't date their best friends who are girls. What happens if she turns me down? Do I lose a best friend? That would be horrible. So, best friend girls have to tell boys they want their relationship to become more personal. That's guy world. Best of luck with you. I you decide not to take my suggestion, then at least pull yourself together. Don't do his errand for him, as it does cause you pain, and that gives you no pleasure. Don't tell him, if that is what you want to do. But, there are other boys out there, and you will survive this. I really think you should give him a chance by talking to him truthfully about your feelings for him. pops
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reader, becky05 +, writes (19 July 2005):
Did he give you any reason to believe you were more than just close friends (IE, physical contact, kissing etc)?
He is obviously not interested in you in that way or he would have made a move after 5 years. Im afraid, you will have to just keep this boy as a friend.
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