A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I met a man on Facebook and we fell in love. At least I thought we did. He was the first to say it, and for a while we were just crazy about each other. We even managed to Skype from time to time even though he lives in another country. I found it a little odd that almost all his friends are women, but I let it go because some men are just like that. He told me I was perfect for him. He said I was his soul mate, and God help me, I believed him. He's pulled back a lot in the past couple weeks because he claims to be writing a book. (We are both writers) He pretty much ignores me all day, except for an occasional 'poke' or a comment. I have him on my close friends list, and I can see everything he does. He seems to have plenty of time for his women 'friends.' He tells them how beautiful they are, and adds hearts and kissy faces. He knows I can see this. I guess my question is this- am I over reacting? I feel so stupid and I hurt so much. Guys. your advice is needed too. What should I do?
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facebook, fell in love, soulmate Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your kind advice. I agree about music. I love your choices, too!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2013): Treat me Right by Pat Benatar is one of the best songs when you feel unsure about a guy. Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac. One of the lines in that says, "Loving you isn't the right thing to do. How can I ever change things that I feel. If I could baby I'd give you my world. How can I when you won't take it from me." Another one of their songs Stevie Nicks says, "Players only love you when their playin."
So true. I get over someone by listening to music. I just wanted to be sad and wallow but after you have cried enough you learn to move forward. For me I always need closure. That may not always be a good thing. I understand how it feels because a woman wants to feel like she is the only one.
It hurts. You sound like a lovely person. Don't give up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, 'male reader.' I was hoping to get a man's opinion too.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2013): In this instance, with you both being in other countries, this was probably a non-starter unless you had actually met in person - on holiday or while working abroad - in the first place.
However, I do want to say that JUST because a guy has good female friends it does not, as highmaintenance suggests, automatically mean he is a player or that some of these women are more than just platonic friends. I'm a man. My best friend is female. Never been anything between us. I have many female friends, none of whom have ever been anything more than.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, highmaintenence101. You're a sweetheart.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2013): Oh! you must have fallen for him.
Stupid Cupid. Don't worry. It will pass.
If you feel like its too hard, read my article about how to forget someone (the quickest way)
download the songs if you have to.
Sing with it.
Until you almost believe it.
That you don't miss him. You got a life to do.
That you really don't care.
Watch Horror movies.
There's nothing more horrifying than scaring yourself to death. it will help you not to think about him.
Most of all, grab some chocolates.
You can do it. trust me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again, ladies. It just hurts so much though. Seriously, I'd rather be having labor pains than this heartache.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2013): I totally agree with them.
Your very smart to listen to us.
So save your feelings to someone who deserves it.
But definitely NOT HIM.
Good Luck to you!
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 July 2013):
 The good news is that you are not stupid. Today, you are being wise. :) String together a few days of that and you'll feel a whole lot better inside a week.
People are vulnerable when their wishful thinking goggles are on. Just take those off and put on the fresh air, nice long walks and talks with dear friends who love you, eat right and treat yourself to something pampering goggles.
You'll be just fine. Believe that and make it so. :)
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 July 2013):
 Don't feel bad for wanting to love and be loved. We all do, one way or another.
Chin up!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to the ladies who have answered so far. Honeypie, highmaintenence 101, and Tisha-1. All three of you are absolutely correct. I know what I need to do, but it just hurts so damn much. I hate feeling so stupid. I'm way too old to be falling for crap like this.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 July 2013):
He is not serious about YOU or any of the other women on his FB, you are all his little EGO boosters.
I would DROP him and find a man who isn't FAR FAR away and whom you can get to know in person.
You are a fantasy, and he is YOUR fantasy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2013): Hi!
I feel so sorry for you.
The guy is clearly a player.
He have lots of female friend of course.
I am guessing, some of them are not just plain friends
But More than friends to him just like you, that's why sometimes his ignoring you.
His making you feel stupid because I do think it was your choice to be stupid for him.
You met him where? Face Book? Its not surprising his playing with lots of women.
Most of the guys you met online can't be trusted.
They have lots of female girl friends left and right.
its so easy to catch fishes online, because you can pretend to be someone your not.
I watch MTV's Catfish, maybe you should watch it too. You can learn a lot of things from that TV show. It will definitely make your mind change about online dating.
If I were you I would stop thinking about him.
For he does nothing, but making you feel stupid and hurting your feelings. Your not paranoid, your just seeing signs that his a womanizer.
He is exactly what you think He is.
If he is into you, he wont have a heart to make you feel the way you feel today. Because he sincerely cares.
But since his not sincere, its o.k for him to hurt you.
Allowing you to see his comments to other girls that their pretty and the kisses he gave them.
Its very disrespectful.
What do you with jerks?
(Your age says 41 to 50. Your almost same age as my mom. I didn't realize that.)
I think my advice is so immature for you. I'll leave it to other aunts. But the bottom line is FORGET HIM.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 July 2013):
You had a little online FB fling with a guy who said all the right things. You never met him in real life. I'd just end it, block him on FB and look forward, not back at his posts and emoticons.
In order to feel less stupid and not hurt so much next time, don't believe everything a guy you met on FB says.
I think there are lots of women and men in your situation, it's not uncommon with the advent of social networking. The issue is that people now can fall for conmen (and conwomen) from all over the world.
Check in with your friends, go out and spend time in real life with your real friends who care about you as a healthy way to move on.
Good luck.
P.S. Don't add people you know nothing about on FB. It's just not a good idea.
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