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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years.I thought we were really happy, but last night when I was trying to read a message from a friend on his mobile I pressed the wrong button and he had naked pictures messages from another girl.I looked at his mobile phone bill and he's spent £235 calling her since April.He says nothing happened between them and I think that's true but I feel totally betrayed. He's been texting and calling her all day, every day for weeks.He said he was testing himself because we are thinking of getting married and he's never been with anyone else.I feel so let down, and hurt. This is not fidelity and I didn't deserve it.I don't know what to do for the best.
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reader, Joe Mamma +, writes (29 June 2005):
I hate to say this, but something most likely happened. No one can be sure, especially you, because he's proven himself to be deceitful. How are you supposed to believe him? I think you should consider telling him that you will be looking at his phone bills and doing spot-checks on his phone until you feel you can trust him again. If he balks at the idea, then rest assured that he fully intends to continue his phone relationship. After 5 years, you deserve to be the only one. That is what I think.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (29 June 2005):
Dump him! the odd text 'just to see what it was like' may be overlooked, but £235 calling the same woman, he sounds like a sad man that doesnt realise what he has got, you need to tell him that it either stops or its over............for good!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2005): Eww, this is tough. Because he has already been a little dishonest with you, it's hard to know then whether he is telling the truth when he says nothing happened. It sounds like he is definitely not ready for marriage. I reckon there's two ways to go about this:a) You sit down and talk to him about the boundaries of your relationship. If he thinks what he did is something you guys should allow into your relationship, then cool, go off and start SMS-ing some guys you know. I am sure he wont like his girl receiving nakes pics of guys, or better still naked pics of you in other guys mailboxes.b) Call his bluff. Tell him if he wants to do that he can, just single and by himself. It's pretty amazing how many people want to have their cake and eat it to. if your there this is all a fun game. If your not it suddenly isn;t half as exciting or risque. So let him know your not afraid to find someone who thinks you are 100% their world. Good luck with it all...
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2005): So you think a person would spend £235 on something that didnt happen? Maybe only if he never got the chance. Honey he wasn't testing himself. He was testing you and how stupid of a story he could get away with.
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reader, MexicanLuverMan +, writes (29 June 2005):
Are you so blinded by "love"? He has naked pictures of another girl and has been spending tons of money just talking to her and says nothing is going on but he is merely testing himself is all a load of crap. You have every right to feel you after all of this and didn't deserve it if you never betrayed his trust. He is using you, don’t you see. Marriage to this guy won't mean a thing. He will continue to do this no matter what.Tthere is a saying what was once a cheater will forever be a cheater. Get out of this relationship before you really end up heartbroken. Of course it won't be easy since you have been in it for five years but if he is starting to do this now it will get worse. Sooner or later he'll be taking things further with other girls and always making up excuses for them. Don’t buy into them and don’t give him the pleasure of thinking you're his doormat. That’s all I can tell you.
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