A
female
age
41-50,
*ickii25h
writes:Im 26 and have known my boyfriend (29) for 5 and a half years, we had a break in the middle of that and remained the best of friends but have been happily back together for a year.He let it slip a few months back that he was going to propose to me on our holiday at the end of the year and i was so excited. This weekend the subject came up and he told me that he is'nt ready to get engaged/married but I said a wedding would be few years away anyway. He said he thought he was ready but he's not and doesnt know why, but that he does love me and wants me to move in with him still, but I was devastated to hear that as I thought we were solid. He has just text me now and said he been to visit his friend and saw how happy he was with his wife and new baby and said that he knows its what he wants. But I then realised he meant he wants to start a family not get engaged like I thought. I don't want to have a baby if he can't commit to me, plus im traditional. Will he always be like this, am I just dreaming of something that wont change?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): He shouldn't want a baby just b/c his friends seemed happy. he doesn't know what goes on when he's not around. And the pressures of raising a baby. I am also 26 and an
unwed mother of a 3 mo. old daughter. We are together and have also talked abt. marrige but nothing has materialized, so I know how you feel. He acts like it doesn't matter at all if we are married or not.
It is scarry especially because I don't work, I stay home with the baby. I always think what would I do if he decided to leave? We have no wedding plans, so I don't know if we will ever get married. There is a lot of pressure on unwed mothers. People ridicule me, and my family is always asking me why we don't get married. It is embarassing. I feel like I'm not good enough because all of my friends that have children are married, and in a lot of cases they didn't even know eachother very well. So I say don't have kids with a man who isn't ready to commit to marriage with you. Why would he want the huge responsibilty of raising a baby for 18 yrs. when he can't commit to marriage? People can get divorced, but you can't just disown your child. He needs to wake up.
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