A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When i was in my 20s i worked in a couple strip clubs where there was quite a bit of chicks with boob jobs. It was something i always thought looked really good and being a small b i was a good candidate for the surgery though my natural small boobs were something i didnt necessarily hate. I had the money and went through with it. I got the most natural softest ones they offered and was mindful of the size etc. Since then its been four years, and though i feel sexier than ever when i look at myself naked, no partner seems to want anything to do with them. My current partner who i love very much and is really the sweetest guy ever doesnt even want anything to do with them really and after a small dispute about how it made me feel hes now trying to act interested but i can tell he isnt because of things hes said before it became a serious discussion. When i get on google to ask anonymous opinions most guys say they hate them and how they feel etc and they make a woman appear either very insecure or attention seeking. I dont view myself that way as i wanted them because i sincerely thought they were an achievement at the time when i already loved myself and i next to never show clevage etc. Ive considered getting them removed for the sake of a healithier sex life but i know they wont go back to what they were before if i do and i think thats about as bad as getting them to please guys. Its to the point where i dont want to remove my shirt during sex or around my partner because of the stigma associated with them and i feel like less of a catch because of that. When watching porn etc i think its way sexier to have a completely naked girl with lights on etc to look at but i feel like a huge turn off to him. During our conversation before it really got discussed he said hes never going to be like oh wow shes so sexy because of her boobs, despite that we were orginally discussing my body as a whole. Ive explained that having my boobs played with a lot is a major turn on for me as they are very sensitive etc. When we first started dating he told me he was a boob man, and now he claims to be a butt man. Ive had partners in the past tell me they wasnt sure what to do with them, as if they couldnt just do what they would normally do with any other boobs. Id like to think theres chicks who have it way worse and still are able to have a good sex life but mine feels ruined over it. I dont need anyone else to love my body, just me and my partner but it seems as though its not going to happen to the extent that i would prefer. I feel more insecure now than i ever have when i was a b cup and like any compliment he gives me is somewhat forced now. Its ruined my sex drive to have such negative body image, or should i say confidence because i personally like my figure. What would be worse, keeping my shirt on so he doesnt have to look at them or taking my shirt off to further weird him out over time?Im trying to understand why guys can go from dating small boobed women to big boobed women to women with various nipples etc but once they get with a chick with fake boobs they seem completely lost and quick to make such harsh judgements about her mindframe? If a guy loves you will he eventually love your implants or just merely learn to except them? That sky high confidence i had the first year i got them is gone only because of partners and i want it back but i dont want to dump a guy for not liking them anymore than i want dumped for having them. I just want to be his favorite body type. Any advice or words for dealing with this please share. I know it sounds cliche but until youve gone through it its hard to explain which is another issue i have with communicating it to guys.
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boobs, confidence, insecure, money, my figure, nipples, porn, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2020): Oh dear...You just have not found the right man yet.Keep looking .....When you find him you will know he will love you unconditionally just the way you are now.Do not ever settle for anything less.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2020): OPYou are letting other people judgments and stereotyping make you insecure. The thing is EVERYONE is judgmental - you won’t find a single person on the planet that isn’t, including you!! And everything is stereotyped. It’s the world we live in. You sleep around - your a sl*t. You don’t sleep around - your a prude. You are slightly overweight - your a lazy slob. You are thin - you clearly don’t eat. Etc etc you get my point! You can’t escape it. You just have to decide whether you are going to let it upset you or ignore it. Believe me if you didn’t feel judged and stereotyped because of this, you will find something else. There is ALWAYS something. I’m a thin woman due to a thyroid condition that makes it hard for me to gain weight. I’m not even underweight, just slim. I’ve had people stop me in the street and tell me I need to eat a burger. Do I let it bother me - no because I KNOW deep down their opinion doesn’t matter. Let people have their opinions on you - but don’t let it ruin your self esteem. Some men find me attractive because they like slim women and some men don’t. That’s ok. Because I can’t change myself and I am what I am. And you are who you are. You made a decision to get surgery - that was YOUR decision. It’s your life - no one else’s. If you start listening to others negative opinions on you then you will lead an unhappy life. Your confidence is knocked. Work on building it back up. Learn to love your boobs again. Confidence is sexy. If you feel confident about your boobs and show them off to you boyfriend then he will find you very sexy, will turn him on and he will love to play with your boobs. If your too scared to take your shirt off, try and hide them or keep talking to your boyfriend about how much you think he hates them - then he is going to be scared to go anywhere near them. He may want to touch them but all that goes through his head is ‘well if I start playing with them now she thinks I’m only doing it because she asked me too. That might upset her further’. All that goes on in his head and then he is scared to go near them. Grab his hands and place them on your boobs yourself. Be assertive. He is your boyfriend after all so I am sure he finds you very sexy boobs and all. The whole package is more important. Some women have small boobs but are with partners who prefer larger breasts. But at the end of the day their men love them and still find their partners sexy even with small boobs. Because at the end of the day boobs aren’t that important. Other variables in attraction and relationships are far more important. Not to say you have no right to feel insecure about them. Everyone is insecure about something. But just remember your boobs are just one part of you. Let people think you were insecure about them etc etc. Do these people know you personally? NOYour boyfriend sees you as more than just a pair of boobs or he wouldn’t be with you. He sees more to you than that - because he KNOWS you! That’s all that matters
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 October 2020):
 Chin up, OP
Also, when you look for a life partner find someone who can love ALL of you. Even if he prefers butts over boobs, he shouldn't BE with you if implants are so "bad" in his eyes.
Remember that first year when you had a LOT of confidence? Find your way back there, but also remember YOU are MORE than a set of tits! There is a WHOLE person to love.
And glad if I have ever helped you. Good to know :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2020): Im the op and ive been coming to this site for years to ask questions ive no balls to ask people in real life. Im assuming the guy thats commented his distaste for fake boobs is somewhat new to giving people advice on a wide variety of issues because he wasnt much help. I was very hurt yesterday when i seen the two comments from people who told me i should be highly upset with my body and such. Honeypie dear ive always posted anonymously so youve no clue who i am but i just want to say that youve basically been my free therapist for dang near a decade it seems and you dont always tell me what i want to hear but you almost always make my situations better. Life is very short and these are now my boobs. Im hapy to say that though i havent gotten past my new found shyness with my current partner im working on my own acceptance again and focusing on liking them myself, all extra opinions aside because it seems as though it should be just my opinion that matters after all. I still feel as though the stereotypes are what bothers me the most as two repliers basically confirmed is an issue. That's why i mentioned it originally. Because when people see boobjobs their first thought is wow she must have been so insecure or yea she really wants guys to drool over her. I danced many months before the surgery, ive only danced a few random days since then as my personal goals shifted to a real career and wanting to find someone to marry. But as i said before i seen so many chicks with boobjobs that in my mid twenties i fell in love with the look. I made it a point to mention that i typically keep these big things covered out of modesty. The only people who ever really get to see them is the guys im dating. Somehow ive become a chick who can absorb the opinions of my partners and im working on not doing that first because when i was single for a moment i was confident in my body. Maybe it was a bad choice back then. But theres a big difference between the mindset of someone in the early 20s and early 30s. I at the least want a healthy sex life when im married so getting past this is important to me. Thank you to each of you for your replies.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2020): I find it very sad that you would go to the bother of changing your looks to please a man. No man is worth it.My man prefers small boobs, but he would rather be with me with my big ones - double hh! - than with someone else with perfect boobs - because there is a lot more to a relationship than boobs. Are you a person, a human, or a blow up doll? Are you a normal woman who wants a normal relationship or a prostitute? Even an expensive prostitute would not bother to get a lot of surgery or alternations to please some of her paying customers, she would know that so long as she is attractive, young, sexy she can easily get more men than she has time for.The man to be with is the man who cares about you, who is good company, who contributes to your life - not just a man who fancies you and wants to jump on you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2020): Not all men like big boobs and men are entitled to change there minds and preferences. Some men won’t know what to do with fake boobs - some men don’t know what to do with small boobs or large real boobs. Or maybe he is a boob man but maybe he likes a certain size or shape that you don’t have. Or maybe he doesn’t like fake boobs. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like them or he doesn’t love other parts of your body. It just may mean he loves other parts of your more. Maybe he really loves your bum. Maybe he wasn’t a bum man until he saw yours and now he is obsessed. Preferences can change. Society and the media is to blame for that too. I remember in the 90s men all wanted a stick insect with long legs and looked like a supermodel. Then with page 3 and porn men wanted fake boobs in the 00s. Now it seems to be bums men are obsessed with and curves. They all just follow the fashion trends and what they are supposed to find sexy. Women wanted to look like a supermodel, then they wanted big boobs, now they want fake lips and bum implants. Some men say they want a ‘natural girl’ but then try and pull a woman with fake body parts and covered in make up. You say you didn’t get them because you were insecure. Somehow I don’t believe you. I feel you got them to be sexier to men and are now upset you THINK this isn’t the case. Otherwise why would you be upset about it. Because you didn’t get the outcome you wanted. You spent a lot of money on them and feel it is a waste.There will always be stigma about fake boobs because they aren’t real. So men and women are going to be judgmental and they are going to say bad things about them. Some of it is jealousy. Because you know this you are assuming men and your boyfriend hate your boobs. Stop listening to other people’s opinions. It’s your opinion that matters because it’s your body. I’m sure you don’t like every body part on your boyfriend. This is your insecurity and all in your head. Not every man will like your bum or find you attractive - that’s life! You can’t be attractive to everyone. So why expect every man to like your boobs! In terms of communication. Speak your mind. Don’t get into an argument or even a conversation about it. Ask him sexily during sex to play with your boobs because it turns you on. Asking for what you want in bed will turn him on too. Men want to please their partner and if he knows he is it will turn him on too. So no need for a conversation about it. Or grab his hands and put them on your boobs. He will just be happy he is pleasing you. That’s all men want at the end of the day!Own your body and love your body - fake boobs and all!!! If your happy with it then that is all that matters
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2020): Stop worrying what men like . This is the whole issue . Whether men like them or whether men don’t ...big deal . YOUR opinion is the one that matters NOT men’s and as for the guy who said he wouldn’t criticise a woman who had then for medical reasons , that’s pretty much imply he feels entitled to judge a woman’s reasons for getting implants and ‘judge’ them if he doesn’t agree and say something ... I mean wth . Op can you see how entitled today’s men have become ?They sit back abs think they can assess and comment on women’s bodies like we are cattle in a dairy show . Stop pandering to that mindset . I don’t have implants but I’m fully aware of many men thinking like this . You worked in a industry where women are ornaments , you don’t have to let men who think that way into your life anymore !
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (3 October 2020):
 I've never felt the need to have surgery to alter my body is any way so can't comment from first hand experience. However, we have discussed this, and other topics, where I work, and the almost unanimous verdict from males has always been that they prefer natural over fake, especially when it comes to boobs, even if the boobs are on the small side. That said, most of them have never actually felt fake boobs so it sounds like it is just the thought that they are fake which puts them off.
I can't think of any advice regarding this current relationship, and I do hope you manage to sort things out, but, if not and you have future relationships, I would try not actually telling the men involved that your boobs are fake. They are unlikely to ask outright if it's not obvious (which sounds to be the case) and, if it is, as I suspect, just the thought of them that turns them off, what they don't know can't hurt them. I know you shouldn't have to keep secrets but, frankly, your body is YOUR business, not anyone else's.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2020): You didn't say how big they are. Are your implants gigantic?
It sounds to me like your bf just isn't really into boobs. If he won't touch yours and you have asked him to, then I think he's being selfish.
I would try and again to explain to him how important boob play is to you. If he doesn't try to please you, maybe you should find somebody else.
For me personally, I sometimes like the look, but I don't like seeing scars. Actually what's almost worse than scars are boobs with lots of tattoos on them!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 October 2020):
I think YOU are the one making a big deal out of your implants.
He might have said he was a boob guy but realizes he is a butt guy. However, YOU like them engaged during sex and he apparently doesn't enjoy that part. Maybe it's not because he dislike your boobs maybe he is kind of a lousy lover?
The thing is, YOU altered your body because you thought it was an "enhancement" and would help earn more money. You were happy with the result. So OWN it, OWN the body you have. You have 2 hands, right? So you can play with your breasts and SHOW him during sex what you really enjoy.
Don't compare porn to actual sex, it isn't reality - it's fantasy and make belief playing on what they THINK people want to watch. Porn is fake. You as a former stripper should know what faking is.
As for what "men" think about fake boobs, screw it, it's not something you can change. You have no control there.
Personally? I think there are more men who themselves get INSECURE having a GF with fake boobs because they don't want other men to "lust" after their partners boobs.
And as a woman, I do think a LOT of women who have implants were insecure about their natural size. So what? It's their bodies and they can do what they want with them. I know women who have had breast reductions and implant augmentations. While I don't get when someone gets "beach ball sized" boobs, I don't judge.
Don't HIDE your boobs from your partner like you are ashamed of them. IF you like them, SHOW it.
I don't think you should take implants out to please a guy. What if... he then decides that he DID like the bigger ones after all? Should you put them back?
If you EVER want them out, DO it for you. No one else.
You also can't change HOW guy feels about boobs, fake or real. Just don't be ASHAMED of who you are and how you look. IF you date someone who can't STAND how your boobs look so much that he makes you feel like you should hide them and not turn on the lights during sex, I would dump him. Because that is weird. Your boobs are PART of you, and he shouldn't make you feel bad about them.
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