A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice on older men. I am 29 years old and a few days ago I met a man who very kindly gave me his number for me to get in touch to go out, I was extrmely flattered I put his age at about 33 - 35 but have know discovered that he could be 41 - 42 due to his job (lt col). I am not sure if I should get in touch and arrange to met up with him or just leave it. The reason I am so apprehensive is because I am a very shy female and I have never had a boyfriend and am very inexperienced in all aspects. I have very low confidence and I don't want to come across as being stupid. Also, I don't want to go out with him, enjoy his company and then have to say - your too old for me. I know I couldn't say that and I would end up just agreeing to met up with him. Any advice on what t odo?
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confidence, never had a boyfriend, older men, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 June 2012):
 When my fiance was 29 I was 42.... just saying...
that being said oldbag gives GREAT advice...
lunch is not as datey as dinner...
his job has no bearing on his age... he could be older or younger... he may not look his age... in order to know how old he is you have to ask... but the fact that you two hit it off without knowing ages means you should probably at least give him a chance.
you are 29, not a baby and after certain point, age is not as important as it is when we are much younger...
go out get to know him and forget about his age... if you and him hit it off and have the same mindset and point of view and beliefs ya never know what could happen...
go have lunch and get to know him.... you're 29 not 19...
A
female
reader, aavon82 +, writes (4 June 2012):
Hi,
I agree with a lot of what oldbag has said. The fact is, you don't know for sure how old he is. I would say that the difference between someone in their 30s and someone in their 40s is usually clear, but there are some people who naturally look older or younger than they really are, so it's not always obvious!
I know exactly how you feel OP, because I am also very shy, but the most important thing here is to find out if you have any sort of connection and the only real way to do this is to meet him in a casual setting, so that you don't feel under any pressure and just see how it goes. Try to picture it as though you are meeting up with a friend, rather than a potential boyfriend, as this may help you to relax more. I know it's tough to meet people in general when you're shy OP, but as the old saying goes 'you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.'
I wish you all the best. X
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (4 June 2012):
 Hi
Ask him how old he is if it bothers you that much, I don't know how you can tell from his job to be honest?Thing is you should be able to tell by looking at him theres a big difference in 30s than 40s!
If you meet in the day, for lunch somewhere, its not so 'datey' and you can form a better opinion of him without the stress of a proper night time date.Just an hour or so together and if you like him and him you, well - then you can move to an evening date.
Relax and be yourself, give him a chance, he gave you his number because he likes you so he's interested in you already. If you keep not going on dates you will never have a boyfriend!
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