A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:What do you think is happening in his head?I ended it for good with him at the begining of the year. He wanted to try again but i didn't want to. He had lied a few times and he is one of those guys you find hard to trust because he is quite secretive and thinks if he just doesn't tell someone something, he isn't actually lying. He is 4 years younger than me i am 38 and i would eventually like to meet someone that is ready to settle down with me and my kids and theirs if they ideally have any.Anyway i am happy on my own until i find mr right. He tells me im too fussy and wont ever be happy. Says i am the one thats got problems trusting someone even though i spent 8 years with the father of my children and trusted him totally. We split because i fell out of love with him. He was very different to the recent ex, and i would love to meet someone similar again.Anyway my recent ex is 34 and is now dating a girl 10 years younger who has a terrible rep. And is off and on with a 44 year old the last 3 years, he isn't happy about my ex being on the scene and has asked me to tell him if he flaunts them in front of him he is going to slap him. She has a 8 year old daughter but gets her brother or mum to have the girl overnight 2 or 3 times a week so she can sleep at my exes. They spend week night evenings in the pub she works in and stay in there drinking til closing.Does this sound like it was me with the problem because i knew he wasn't the guy for me and decided to split from him? Maybe it is me because he seems to of moved on and found someone quite quickly. Could i be being too fussy?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): " Loving smart means believing in you, your worth and your value"!
You have done the right thing; I am very proud of you;
You DESERVE much better.
DON't now waste time on "what is going on in his head";
No, no, don't waste time trying to do that "AUTOPSY";
Rather make a list of want you want in your future partner and think of ways to find the RIGHT guy;
Best wishes and Lots of SMILES
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 I think you're trying to justify the break up to yourself, and there's really no need to! He sounds a bit of a mess, frankly, and I think you do indeed deserve better. He's just said you're too fussy to make himself feel better abou the split. Ignore that comment; life's too short to settle for being treated that way! If you spend one more minute worrying about the 'too fussy' label, that's a minute wasted where you could be doing something interesting and fun, and out meeting new people.
Good luck finding that new guy!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 August 2008):
Any guy who tells you "I'm the best you are going to get" is NEVER the right guy for you. Also a man that tells you to pass on a threat of violence is a complete idiot. The only reason he would do that was if he was a coward and wanted to intimidate you rather than your Ex.
The fact he has moved on (started shagging about) does not reflect well on his character.
To be honest I think your judgement was perfect. Any woman who wanted to be with a man like this needs their head looking at.
Move on, cut him out of your life and good luck on your hunt for Mr Right.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Groovy Gran +, writes (21 August 2008):
 hi, no of course you were not being too fussy. Your gut instinct told you that you couldn't trust this man and he has proved your right. He just wanted to shift the responsibility and blame onto you so he felt ok. The fact that he hasmoved on so quickly would suggest tat he is not the man for you and you were right.
Trust yourself and as you are happy alone until the right man comes along you will be making great strides towards a happy and fulfilled life.
Best of luck
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