A
female
age
30-35,
*hamilton
writes:Alright, My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over nine months and I'm at my whits end with everything... The first couple months were great, but once we hit the five month mark, it's been all downhill. I love this kid so much, but I feel like I'm his mother. I take him to school, pick him up, take him to work, pick him up, and so on. Within the last week, he's got a job, that I helped him get. Took him to fill out the application, took him to the interview, took him to the pre-employment drug screening, and so on.There is no doubt that this kid doesn't love me, I know he would do anything to fix this, but I've givin him many changes to change. I wanted to go out to the Dusty with my girls and he flipped shit. Called, followed my girlfriend to the gas station.I'm eighteen, a freshman in college, but I feel like a teen mother! I feel bad for him, his mother lives in another state and his father is a wackjob. Not even kidding. His relatives bud into our relationship and try to control everything we do. I think the reason I stay with him, is because I know he has nothing without me, that sounds terrible, I know. This kid has never been givin a chance, ever. I think the reason I stay is because everyone says it won't work out, and I want to prove them wrong. But is my happiness worth the risk?Last night we got into this huge fight, all because after work, I wanted to take a nap. He called me over 40 times, and left numberous voicemails. Called my parents, friends, and family looking for me because I wouldn't answer his phone calls. His mother texted me, he called me resticted. It's just so ridiculous. I'm so tired of being controlled, but I don't want to break his heart... I'm not happy at all. Don't get me wrong, we have our good times, but they are beginning to not outweigh the bad....Advice, Please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2012): since you're in a relationship based on pity and personal pride it's not surprising you're so unhappy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2012): If you tell your friends & family that you are going to jump off a cliff and see if you make out okay, they are going to say it won't work. They are not saying this because they don't have faith in your abilities in general. They are saying it because you're just being stupid. They think you probably can't make the idea work because they would think that about anyone who tries it.
So stop making yourself a martyr to good intentions and commitment. Swallow your pride, admit you did something stupid when you picked this guy, break it off, and get on with your life. You will be so much happier in the long run.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 March 2012):
 I'm not sure that your "question" makes any sense.... for this reason....
AL/ANY of us guys crave to find a young partner who will treat us like our Mother.... EXCEPT that she will put out for us, and - under the circumstances - THAT is acceptable!!!
YOUR "guy" is in a "guy-dream-world", and YOU are critical to its continued success.....
Good luck....
P.S. Do you clean his apartment? IF not, WHY not????
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2012): Your Mother: "what kind of guy do you hope to marry when you grow up?"
A young jhamilton: "Well mommy I want to marry a prince and live in a castle."
Mother: "What will he be like?"
You: "Well I dream that he will be incapable of doing of anything for himself, I want to be able to pity him and become his surrogate mommy, I want him to 'care' so much about me that he calls me 50 times if I don't answer and calls you, daddy, and everyone I know to make sure I contact him back and I hope he will get angry if I don't answer, I want him to come from a fucked up family so that he will be fucked up too, I want all my friends to think he's a waste of space so that I can prove them wrong because that's more important than my happiness, I want his family to be as overbearing as him and have too much say in our relationship, I want my prince to make sad most of the time but then trap me in our relationship by making me feel worse if I leave him, I want him to flip out whenever I want to do something that doesn't include him, I want him to be my master, my son and a guy that fucks with my head and throws his toys out of the pram whenever he doesn't get his way. Above all though mommy, I just want a guy who makes me feel bad for being with him more times than he makes me feel happy, that's my dream guy mommy and that's the kind of guy I want to settle down with and marry, so my kids can turn out as bitter, controlling and fucked as him."
OP is any of the above true? Do you really want any of these things in your life? Do you really, truly see any kind of future with this guy? If the answers to those questions are "no" then it's time you decided whether you want to deal with a bit of pain now to ensure your future happiness or whether you want to be a mother, counsellor and slave to a pretty messed up idiot.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 March 2012):
 Get out now. You gave it a 9 month try and you aren't happy. Cut bait and move on to the next pond.
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