A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:dating this girl for about 8 months and i think she may have a drinking problem..she goes out a few times a week for "dinner" with friends and has called me from the cab at 1 am and seemed drunk on more than a few occassions..she also has a few glasses of wine every night to "unwind"..we both spoke about our pasts and she said that she only had one one night stand right before we met..she went to a holiday party and said she blacked out and wound up sleeping with a guy from her office. i asked her if she thought she had a drinking problem and she responded "don't tell me i can't drink" and the only time i won't drink is when i'm pregnant...she also seems to know where and what time the liquor stores are open in her area.we went out to dinner had a few drinks each and then she wanted to stop on the way home for a bottle of wine..it was already late and she drove around to two different stores looking for a bottle of wine, i found it odd...i lived in my area for 5 years and don't know where or what time they are open until!..mind you she is 32 yrs old
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): so anyonmous..u are recovering? is it a problem? why do u think? what are the signs here..she says i'm the one that is an odd ball b/c i don't really drink..she also said she drinks a lot less than she did since she is with me, which makes me think..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): I'm a recovering alcoholic..this girl has a definite problem. She might not be a full-blown alcoholic yet, but she definitely abuses it and is on her way to being in big trouble with her drinking.You need to confront her seriously, encourage her to get help, whether it be a therapist or AA. If she continues to deny, you have to give her an ultimatum..either she gets help or you will have to break up. Do not stay in a relationship with an active alcoholic, it will not end well, trust me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): I suggest that you find yourself an Al-anon men's meeting in your area, and get to it. Al-anon is for people with freinds or family members who have a drinking problem. It will give you the kind of support you need to be in a relationship such as the one your in. You can not help her until she's ready, but she can do a TON of mental damage (100% unintentionally) to you until then.It's hard being in a relationship like this, but you are FAR from alone and one 1 hour meeting a week can make a WORLD of betterment for both you and her. And, when she hits her bottom, odds are really good that you can point her to a woman who can help her, as odds are really good that in that mens meeting will be multiple guys in now HAPPY marriages with alcoholics who are in recovery. Its and amazing program and requires very little of you, just show up, sit and share if you want- sit a listen otherwise, laughter will come out of your mouth MUCH sooner than you think.... trust me on that... first time I laughed, it had been SOOOO long that I surprised myself and was shocked. Just remember, you didn't cause it and you can't cure or control it, but you can find yourself a place where others can share their story with you and you can get some tool to make each day better.PS: The combination you describe shows some classic signs- but only she can diagnose herself, no one else can really know if she has a drinking problem- only her.
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A
male
reader, Libra  +, writes (12 January 2010):
People who drive around off-licences for a bottle of wine after a night out which includes drink have a problem - Message ends!!
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (12 January 2010):
 If she drinks for the sole purpose to get drunk, she has a drinking problem. The last one to see the problem is going to be her (and she might never admit it). If she does infact have a drinking problem, the only way to help her is professional help.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (12 January 2010):
Sounds like she might. I'm not really against anyone who has a glass or two of wine a night to relax, but if she's getting drunk nightly, then she probably does have a problem. The liquor store thing is a little odd, she must frequent them quite often if she knows their hours! If it's something you really feel you can't put up with, then you probably shouldn't stay with her because it's probably going to be an ongoing battle between you two.
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