A
female
age
26-29,
*iu
writes:I think (80%) that i'm in love with my best friend (boy) but he is ugly and i admit that. Beside that fact that his face is full of pimples, he has elephant ears, a very long face and he is like 10 15/64 inch (26 cm) taller than me, he is funny and he usually takes care of me and i have no ideea if he likes me(like that) too. We're best friend for like 2 years. We had a kind of fight before last summer and we didn't talk all summer at all, after that i started too feel something for him. What should i do? He isn't the perfect tipe of boy and in the same time that i am in love???? with him, i like cute, beautiful, smart boys that i know... I don't know what to do, cause if i tell him, that will ruin our friendship relationship and i don't think that he will act differently if i tell him but i know that i'll act like that cause i can't be in touch with boys that ever told me that they liked me and i didn't feel the same. I'm 16 and i didn't have a relationship before and i don't know if i can support all the drama and everything, all the couples around me are fighting a lot and i don't want that. He had girlfriends before and i was jealous but in the same time i was happy for him too...everything is so confusing. What should i do?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 April 2015):
 I don't think you are in love. People in love - KNOW and believe they are in love ; and many times, in hindsight, it turns out that they were wrong and it was just a passing crush or infatuation, not real love- but that's another story. At the moment, it feels like love, it feels real, it feels COMPELLING, - and it is literally blind, i.e. it does not leave you the lucidity to notice pimples and elephant ears ( btw, I don't know why you see the 26 cm. height difference as a minus ? If you are, say, m.1.60 and he is m.1.86- that's just perfect ! if you like tall guys, at least :).
I think ... that you are 16, you are turning from a kid into a young woman, and , very normally and naturally, you want a boyfriend. You are developing physical and emotional needs that can't be just fulfilled anymore by your parents' hugs or by playing with friends- and you are looking for something more. It's both a biological and social / cultural thing.
You want somebody and if it was not THIS boy, it would be another one, basically any other one whom you are somewhat close to. This one is the obvious choice because he is already a friend, so I am sure you do like him as a person, plus he is safe, comfortable, a known entity. You are sort of trying to transform a generic positive feeling about him into a romantic / sexual feeling. But maybe you are trying too hard. People in love aren't so wishy washy, " maybe yes- maybe not " about their love object.
A
female
reader, Biu +, writes (7 April 2015):
Biu is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yeah...you're right when you say "I don't think you can call someone ugly when you are in love." but i didn't meant to say that he is that ugly that i can't look at him, he has some defects. When we're alone, i want to hold his hand or to kiss him but i don't know if it's right. I said that he is "ugly" cause sometimes i look at photo of him and i think omg and afer that my brain wakes up and reminds me that he has a beautiful soul, i know no one looks good in every photo but it isn't the poit. I just find excuses for beeing with him and for not ... i'm so confuse...
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 April 2015):
 African black soap (dudu osun) is good for pimples while gentle on skin. If he has a long face and elephant ears then a flattering hair style is long and layered. You are attached to him but I don't think you can call someone ugly when you are in love.
I will admit it, I used my first boyfriend for experience even when I knew we were not a good match. I did have strong feelings for him. If there's a possibility of drama, that's because most teenage relationships are trial and error, not meant to last long. You are already using several excuses why you shouldn't date him. So there's your answer, maybe you should not.
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